Have you ever lashed
out at a medical provider? Did you apologize or did you figure they would
probably understand?
Again and again I hear
stories about how “I told her (him) off,” meaning how a patient or family
member voiced their anger about a situation with the medical provider. In any
number of cases, such as when the provider was actually correct, the treatment was
successful, or the person was no longer in pain or anxious, I’ve asked whether
they’ve apologized to the provider for lashing out. It’s not uncommon for them
to say, “No, but they understand as probably other patients do that;” or “I was
in a lot of pain.” In fact, a lot of people, including administrators, other
providers as well as patients and caregivers think provider abuse just goes
with the territory.
Since 80-97% of
healthcare providers experience verbal abuse by their patients, this is a
serious issue. No one gets use to being trashed, no matter how understanding
they are of the situation, or how many times their colleagues tell them “don’t
take it personally.” As one nurse wrote about a patient who said, “That hurt,
you stupid bitch,” “his
hostile comments felt personal, and they devastated me emotionally.
Patients who verbally abuse their providers not only
change how the providers responds-research indicates that quality of care is
actually reduced in these situations-but it also is a reason why nurses and
other providers leave the field.
What
you can do:
• Think before you speak.
• Apologize if you have said something or acted
inappropriately or hurtful.
• If you are frustrated with your provider-maybe you
conflict about treatment or don’t like their personality- change providers. If
that’s not possible, work with a neutral third party to try and resolve
conflicts.
• Get in touch with what is upsetting you and making
you lash out. Do you feel vulnerable or
powerless? Are you angry with the situation you are in? Has someone said
something you find objectionable or do you have a justified reason for being
upset with your provider? Situations where you feel frustrated lead you to say
things you may not ordinarily say. By lashing out, you could loose a really
good provider unintentionally.
• If you know you are more apt to say things when you
are in pain, scared, anxious or when taking certain medications let your
provider know in advance.
• Recognize what upsets you about a given
situation and try not to take it out on other people.