I have never liked New Year’s Eve/Day. As a kid it meant I had to go back to school, which I hated. As an adult, it makes me very melancholy and fills me with dread, as I worry about what could happen in the coming year. Turns out, I’m not alone in these feelings. New Year’s Depression is a real thing and lots of people experience it.
Why one day of the year gets to have such a hold on so many people isn’t surprising as it’s the culmination of “the holidays” that stretch from Thanksgiving to New Year’s Day. While it can be fun, it's also stressful. Some people are still afraid to gather because of Covid and/or flu, which compounds loneliness. Grieving for those who are no longer in our lives can be amplified. Cold and challenging weather, combined with short days can lead to seasonal depression. Some people obsess about their future and the many unknowns. “Reflection,” what New Year’s is all about, can quickly turn to rumination. Finally, it’s a reminder that you have to deal with all those things you postponed “until after the holidays.”
Since I’m writing this on New Year’s Eve, below are some tips to navigating the new year.
• Let go of old superstitions: There are many superstitions about how your behavior on New Year’s day-starting with the stroke of midnight-will shape the rest of your year. Humans are pretty superstitious so it doesn’t take much for people to engage in all kinds of behavior to ensure a bright and happy new year. Obsessing over whether you have the ingredients for “Hoppin’ John,” a southern tradition, isn’t worth it. Yet we still do it. At some level it helps to relieve anxiety, maybe giving us a sense of control, when we clearly don’t have a lot of control over various aspects of our lives. If superstitious behavior is costly, making you feel bad, or is not healthy for you, let it go.
• Traditions New, Old or Not at all: I read somewhere that tradition is basically dead ancestor guilt. Fill in the blank-I do things every year because ______. If you do them because you enjoy and like them, that’s terrific. If you’re doing it because you think that’s what expected of you, that’s not a good enough answer. Sometimes our “traditions” are more like superstitions-“If I don’t eat the traditional food on New Year’s Day, I’m doomed to a terrible year.” Maybe the best tradition for celebrating the New Year is to do something that makes you feel good and leave it at that.
• Resolutions-take it or leave it: People all over the world are making resolutions for the new year, with many focusing on diet, fitness, wellness, happiness and saving money. On average only 9-12% of those who make a New Year’s resolution actually keep them for the year, citing reasons for lack of completion to unrealistic goals and/or to many goals. That said, for some people resolutions are a helpful strategy and gives them hope.
If you want to have some resolutions, makes one(s) that are reasonable and achievable. For example, setting a goal of stopping smoking on New Years may just be too big a leap. However, it may be better to set a resolution to call a “Quite Line” by January 2, with a longer term goal of stopping smoking before the end of 2023.
Resolutions should focus on things you can control. The more realistic your goal setting, the better chance of success and boosting self-worth.
• Recognize rumination: If you find yourself obsessing over past experiences, failures or even fears of the future, it’s most likely you are ruminating. As noted above, reflection can quickly become rumination, triggering more depressive thoughts and feelings.
• Distraction Helps: When you find yourself ruminating and feeling blue, do something that engages your mind and body. Exercise, even just a short walk around the block, can change your mood. Clean the house for 15 minutes, Play an on-line game. Check out Take a Break Pinterest Board and try an activity (there are over 400). If the fog doesn’t lift after several weeks, see about getting professional help teach you some new techniques for coping.
• Plan something to look forward to: Planning ahead increases a sense of optimism and feeling in charge of your destiny. It’s always good to have a healthy sense of anticipation. It can be something as simple as planning a fun evening with a few friends. Other things to consider for the January blues: weekend get-a-way; start a new hobby or rekindle an old one; participate in winter activities; pick a good book (your librarian can suggest one) and snuggle up with a cuppa tea and a good read; plan a movie night; decorate to celebrate winter.
• Remind yourself of things you enjoy throughout the year: As a kid I hated leaving the beach each summer to return home. I found that if I thought of the things I loved doing in the fall, and yes Christmas, it made it easier to leave. Think about things you enjoy doing at different times of the year such as going to the beach, crisp apples in the fall, a BBQ with friends etc.
Happiness doesn’t depend on the actual number of blessings we manage to scratch from life, only our attitude towards them. Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
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