This past week found me as both caregiver to my husband and a helper to a friend that's been injured and can’t get around all that well. I’ve written a number of posts about asking for help, how to help, -see the posts section below-but today it’s just reminders of how to switch it up so people know it when you say, “how can I help?”
What to say instead of, “if you need help just call”
I’m shopping now, what can I get you?
I’ll be by on Friday (whatever day trash is put out or transfer station is open) to take out your trash and/or bring the cans back to the house.
I’m free on Tuesdays, I’ll be buy at 9 so you can go out and do what you need/want to do.
I’m going for a walk, can I: take your dog, baby with me, have time to join me?
Need a good read from the library? I’ll bring a selection of books for you to try.
I’ll be over tomorrow (whenever is convenient for you) to: mow the lawn/yard work/rake leaves/plow snow.
I can come by for _ hours on (whatever day of the week that works for you) to help with vacuuming, dishes, washing floors, or whatever you need done. Keep in mind that if you want to do this weekly, people will depend on you to make that date, so it’s often better to discuss it weekly.
I can drive carpool while your recovering.
Would it be helpful if I set up a Lotsa Helping Hands, Caring Bridge or another website to organize visits, chores, rides etc.?
I’ll be picking up kids today after soccer, happy to bring your kids if that works for you.
You up for dinner and a movie night on Friday (whatever date that works for you)? You can either take them out or bring it to them.
I can take them to chemotherapy, radiation or other treatment. Know that if you are willing to do something like taking them to chemo, you’re offering to be there for the duration of the treatment. Many people appreciate having activities while getting infusions so try to bring something you can share with them. Everybody is different, so if they choose to be alone during that time, that’s fine
Bottom line: Be specific about the ways you can help. Often time those that need it most are too overwhelmed to know what they need, let alone ask for it. When our house was badly damaged by fire, I was in shock and if it hadn’t been for friends that just showed up and started doing, don’t know what I would have done.
OTHER POSTS
In Lieu of Flowers: Financial Help Please!
Responding when Disaster Strikes Friends and Family
How to Help Those Who Are Injured, Ill, Grieving or in Need of Comfort
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