Keeping the Happy in Happy New Year

Keeping the Happy in Happy New Year

For the next several days, “Happy New Year” will be the most frequent form of “hello” on the planet. But what do we mean when we wish someone a “happy” New Year? Does it imply that the previous year sucked?

What do we mean by happiness? Is it the same as contentment? The ability to thrive? Well being? If you are living with a serious illness, does it mean you can’t be happy?

According to Daniel Gilbert, Harvard professor of psychology and author of "Stumbling on Happiness," "Happiness is the thing that all human beings are looking for. Each decision we make in our lives is based on what will make us happier." The problem, Gilbert says, is that we have no "road map" to happiness, and for whatever reason, people don’t know what will make them happy.

PBS is about to air a three part series, starting January 4, called “This Emotional Life.” The series will be addressing three key scientific concepts of happiness:
• You can’t be happy alone
• You can’t be happy all the time
• You can be happier than you are.

The third episode, “Rethinking Happiness,” explore(s) the latest research on the activities and qualities that foster them, such as meditation, compassion, forgiveness and altruism. We also share the remarkable stories of resilient individuals that scientists are studying to learn more about us all, including a man who overcame an abusive childhood to become a renowned surgeon and a Vietnam veteran who survived torture, solitary confinement and seven years as a POW, yet emerged emotionally unscathed. Understanding why some people have the ability to bounce back after disaster strikes, while others do not, sheds light on how all of us can lead happier, more fulfilling lives.

The film ends by coming full circle to the understanding that it is the quality of our relationships — with friends, family and the larger community — that ultimately defines our happiness.

Even though I’ve been following the literature for years on this topic, 2009 seems like a banner year for “happiness” related research, blogs, books and other activities This is just a sampling of what’s now available on-line:

Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania

Authentic Happiness, part of the University of Pennsylvania program

Positive Psychology News Daily

The Happiness Project:

The Woman’s Day Happiness Project

Deepak Chopra’s 7 New Ways to Happiness

While PBS is trying to understand American happiness, the BBC conducted a study to “Make Slough Happy.” Six happiness specialists developed 10 things people could do to make themselves happier-improve their sense of well-being. They then tested whether this worked by studying 50 volunteers who were taught how to use the “happiness manifesto” (see below). These 10 ideas covered four general areas, physical, relationships, work and community. Not every strategy worked for every person, but at the end of the experiment, “We produced more change than we expected. Generally, people misjudge what makes them happy, particularly in relation to materialism. The pursuit of money is not the way to wellbeing or joy. The take-home message is that you, yourself, can make so much difference to your happiness.”

The Happiness Manifesto
• Plant something and nurture it

• Count your blessings - at least five - at the end of each day

• Take time to talk - have an hour-long conversation with a loved one each week

• Phone a friend whom you have not spoken to for a while and arrange to meet up

• Give yourself a treat every day and take the time to really enjoy it

• Have a good laugh at least once a day

• Get physical - exercise for half an hour three times a week

• Smile at and/or say hello to a stranger at least once each day

• Cut your TV viewing by half

• Spread some kindness - do a good turn for someone every day

Regardless of health status, these are simple measures you can try. At least one of the volunteers for the Slough project had significant health issues, yet found that Manifesto offered him a new way to live his life. In follow up interviews, this volunteer continues to practice the Manifesto and continues to find it improves his sense of well being.