At the moment my community is in a state of turmoil over various issues. While it doesn’t directly involve me, just being on the sidelines creates a lot of angst. Not only isn’t this good for me, it’s not good for anyone, particularly the primary players.
In most religions the message is the same - treat each other with kindness, love one another and ultimately “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
Kindness is actually very healthy for us. While having a chronic condition can feel like one long medical visit, medical care only accounts for about 10-20% of our overall health. The big factor is how we are living our daily lives. Those who experience kind and loving environments live longer and do better.
According to Dr. James Doty, neurosurgeon, Director of the Centre for Compassion andAltruism Research and Education at Stanford, and author of author of Into the Magic Shop: A Neurosurgeon's Quest to Discover the Mysteries of the Brain and Secrets of the Heart, our bodies are chronically in “threat mode” due to daily stress. We weren’t designed for such stress. Fortunately, showing kindness and compassion can put us back to “rest mode,” which improves our health and well-being. In short, being kind is really good for you. Convert your heart to kindness as it’s one of the healthiest things you can do for yourself.
Below are ways to incorporate kindness and compassion into your daily life:
• Practice self-compassion. Self-compassion involves treating yourself with kindness and acceptance in situations of failure or suffering and realizing that this is part of a shared human experience. This means that we all make mistakes, we fail sometimes, and for this we suffer. Many things we do to reduce stress & build resilience (such as trying to talk our way out of it) are actually ineffective, or worse, counterproductive. Techniques that build stress resilience include deep breathing, meditation, and walking in nature. Each one of us has favorite activities that we know help to calm our mind: swimming or yoga, walks with our dog in nature, unplugging from our phone and taking a bath, or cuddling and playing with our child. Whatever activities slow down our thoughts bring us back into the here and now, and bring ease into our body and consciousness. Stress Resilience It’s a Real Thing and You can Develop It.
“Love and compassion are necessities; without them humanity cannot survive.” Dalai Lama
• Recognize that everyone suffers. While we easily recognize our own pain, we don’t always see it in others. All too often we quickly judge without really knowing the full situation. It helps to give people the value of the doubt and not become stressed by their negative behavior toward you.
• Try a Loving kindness meditation: The first Loving Kindness meditation I ever tried was guided by Sylvia Boorstein, http://www.sylviaboorstein.com/ one of the founders of Spirit Rock https://www.spiritrock.org/. I often begin meditation sessions by asking people to think of something kind that they did, was done to then, that day and to remember how they felt at that moment. Holding the door for someone entering a building would count. Smiling and thanking the grocery clerk would count. Thanking the agent who helps you on the telephone to solve some problem. Any action that means, “I am not alone in this world and anything—large or small—that I can do to make life easier for another person makes me feel better.”
• Big Change happens from little acts of kindness Small kind actions impact family, friends, neighbors and can extend far beyond your immediate circle. By being a role model for kindness and positive change, you encourage others to do the same.
- Reach out to others
- Get to know your neighbors, co-workers, the people who you regularly encounter:
- Notice when someone needs help. It can be as simple as opening a door
- Visit a lonely neighbor
- Post positive comments and memes. Avoid positing negative comments
- Pick up litter
“In the end, how well we love each other and how well we take care of each other will be what determine the survival of our planet and our species.”
Resources
• Into the Magic Shop-Ruth’s Tricks: Included in Doty’s book of the same name, he includes the exercises given to him as a kid that he credits that shaped his life for the better. This link provides the “tricks” along with a variety of other resources.
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