Healing the Whole Person: Ways to Increase Well-Being

2015 Edition Healing the Whole Person: Ways to Increase Well-Being

Whether you are a caregiver or living with a chronic or life threatening condition, you are more than the diagnosis. Fear, shame, vulnerability and powerlessness can be common emotions. It is easy to define yourself by what you can no longer do and how you appear. You might even feel that you have been robbed of everything that makes life worth living. Yet great things can be achieved by connecting with your inner self, identity, soul, spirit or whatever form you choose to call the core of who you are versus what you appear to be.

Regardless of your diagnosis, and maybe because of it, well-being is achievable by being positive; engaged in life; and having a sense of purpose and strong connections with others. 

While a cure for your specific condition is the direction you are moving towards, it is investing in the process that will help you heal.

Keep in mind the following:

• “Start where you’re at.” Accept and embrace that you are the way you are.

• Everything changes, including how you feel.

• Illness, aging, loss, or anything that makes one uncomfortable or suffer is not a reflection on being a good or bad person. Rather it is an opportunity for growth and change. Think of it as a “course correction” to put you on a different path.

• There’s no benefit in blaming yourself or others for your present situation

• You are doing the best you can and your best is more than good enough.

• Every one has “something” to deal with. This is your something.

• Feeling fear, rage, rejection, anger, anxiety, loneliness as well as joy, happiness, love and contentment are all part of being human.

• We’re wired for fear and it can easily run/ruin your life if you let it. As scary and frightening as loss and crisis might be, we are wired to be resilient.

• Contentment is happiness


• You can have feelings of being disconnected to yourself, family and friends. You may find yourself feeling extremely angry or sad. Be patient with yourself. If the feelings continue to persist for several weeks, or are interfering with your life, get professional help.

• Breathe!

Live in the present: Be aware of your present and not trying to relive the past or be in fear of the future.

Practice Compassion of Self and Others. Accept yourself and others for who they are, not who you think they should be. We all make mistakes. We are all worthy of love, respect and kindness. Be “for yourself.”


Know Your Purpose

Increase contentment by:
• Giving: Do things for others
• Relating: Connect with People-Call a friend, have lunch
• Exercising: Reduce TV viewing and on-line time. Take a walk, dance
• Appreciating: Notice the world around you
• Trying out: Keep learning new things
• Direction: Have goals to look forward to
• Resilience: Find ways to bounce back
• Emotion: Take a positive approach
• Acceptance: Be comfortable with who you are
• Meaning: Be part of something bigger

I believe that the very purpose of life is to be happy. From the very core of our being, we desire contentment. Dali Lama

Develop or use your spirituality and/or faith: For some this may be a renewed faith in their religion for others it is an opportunity to find beliefs that provide comfort.

Don’t lose hope

Make achievable goals

Ask for Help

Keep a Journal: Write about feelings and thoughts.

Take an Art Break: Engaging in art activities can reduce stress and increase well being. Check out the Take a Break Pinterest for lots of ideas.


Meditate/Breathe: Meditation comes in many forms. A simple meditation is one where you notice your breathe. Inhale through your nose to the count of four or more. Exhale slowly, with lips puckered, through your mouth for as long as you can. As you exhale, listen to the sounds you make. Notice how it feels to breathe in and out. Do you notice a difference in how your face feels as you let go of the tension? Repeat as many times that are comfortable for you, keeping in mind the saying, “take 10 deep breaths.” Take 10 Through Out the Day.

Manage Your Health
• Keep a health notebook: You can now do this on-line.
• Maintain healthy habits by:
    Eating whole foods-at least five servings of fruits and vegetables daily;
  -
      - Reducing sugar & caffeine in your diet;
      - Limiting alcohol to a glass of wine daily if allowed with current medications;
      - Regular exercise as health permits (consider yoga, Tai Chi and Qigong);
       - Getting sufficient sleep
• Keep medical appointments
• Join a support group to help yourself and so you can help others

• Use an advocate to help you navigate the medical system and to support you.
• Recognize you are in charge of your health care and act accordingly
• Identify resources in your community that can help you get what you need
• Develop and maintain good relationships with your health providers

Take a Break: Celebrate Flower Day and Spring

March 21 is National Flower Day, a day to honor your state flower.

If you live in other parts of the world, you can celebrate your country or town or region’s flower if they have one. If they don’t, consider a contest among your friends to figure out what would best represent your part of the world.

If we were to hold a contest for town plant, where I live, it would have to be a hosta, since we have a local gardener that has made sure every garden in the town has at least one.

First step is to figure out what your state flower is. Don’t know? Check out the 50 States site. You then might consider:

• Color or Appliqué State Flower These patterns can also be used as your basis for an appliqué state flower.

• Make Tissue Paper Flowers (includes some state flowers)

• Plant your state flower in your garden, or an indoor pot.

Yesterday, March 20, was the first day of spring. So here are a variety of fun things to do:
• Talk a walk and look for signs of spring in your neighborhood

• Make paper blossoms. On your walk, pick up some bare branches

• Make Crepe Paper Daffodils

• Read Why Do We Celebrate Spring, and When is the New Year?

• Have a picnic.

• Listen to Vivaldi’s Spring as performed by Itzhak Perlman with the Israel Philharmonic Orchestra or watch The Rite of Spring from Fantasia.

Managing Health Information: Yours/Theirs

                                                Updated March 2015

In the last month and a half, I have been in the position of advocate for a person with several chronic conditions, who developed a serious acute illness. As an advocate, I always provide the person written comments after we've been to medical appointments, visits to the hospital etc. In this situation, these notes became crucial in navigating a complex maze of hospitals, providers, specialists, visiting nurses and family. Two very important take home points from this experience are:

-use an advocate for medical appointments and hospitalizations
- keep a personal health notebook updated.

Keeping a personal health notebook is important for a variety of reasons:
• You are in charge of making health care decisions for yourself and those in your charge. This can be an overwhelming task as multiple health providers are involved and the variety of paper and information being generated from tests, treatments, to say nothing of health insurance, is mind-boggling. The more organized you can be, keeping information centralized, the easier some decisions will be to make.

• By keeping a health notebook, you can monitor trends, and share information with members of your health care team.

• For whatever reason, your chart may not be available during an office visit with your provider. Having your information in front of you helps reduce errors.

• While your chart may be available, the medical provider may not have had the time to read it, or know where to go for the information he or she is looking for at that moment. They may also have forgotten to write something down, which has a bearing on the immediate situation-e.g. why you discontinued a medication.

• If something happens, what medications and other necessary information, will be available for your family and health team. This is particularly important if several people are involved in someone’s care, such as adult children caring for an elderly parent. Having centralized health information, that all have access to, helps to simplify a complex situation.

In 2005 we developed a Personal Health Notebook at Chronic Conditions Information Network (CCIN). We found that caregiver’s tend to keep the notebooks for their charge, but rarely do it for themselves. It seems that Google Health, which had an excellent free on-line service, found the same thing and discontinued it.

On-line options include:

eCare Diary provides comprehensive information, tools and resources to help those seeking and providing long term care. A unique feature is our Care Diary, a set of online tools designed to make coordination of care and sharing of information easy amongst family members and other caregivers. eCare Diary also has a comprehensive database of nursing home and home care services, guides on long term care financing and information on important health care documents everyone should have. This website was developed by John Mills, who was the caregiver for his father, a person living with Parkinson’s Disease. Mills has spent more than 20 years working in health care.

Many hospitals, medical systems, insurance companies, specialty practices (such as an oncology center), condition specific organizations and even some community groups, are making health notebooks available on-line and/or in print. Check with your provider about what is available locally. If you prefer a print version, download a free copy from Johns Hopkins. Just be sure to keep the Notebook in a safe place and update it on a regular basis.

One area that I’ve found to be important, but isn’t always included in health notebooks, is day-to- day activities. In the most recent situation I’ve been dealing with, since so much of the care was based from the home, it was important to have daily notes about what was happening. Things that were coming up between office visits, which can be so easily overlooked at a medical appointment, were written down as they were occurring, so it was a lot easier to remember to talk about them.

Take a Break: It’s All About the Shamrock

In case you are wondering why the shamrock is so integral to St. Patrick’s Day, legend has it that St. Patrick used the three-leaf plant to teach the Irish about the holy trinity (father, son and holy spirit). Don’t know what he did when he found one with four leaves.

If you’ve ever looked closely at a shamrock, you’ll notice it’s three (or sometimes four) heart shape leaves. I’ve spent time this week experimenting with several different heart shape punches. You can just as easily use a cookie cutter or make your own shapes. You can put three or four hearts together, connecting at the tips, with a stem and have a very good looking shamrock. I’ve made different size hearts and layered them to get a very interesting effect. Experiment, as there is still time to make some fun things for the “wearnin’ of the green,” as my mother use to say. Try some of these ideas:

• Iris folded four leaf clover

• Make a shamrock pin by making three (or four) tiny hearts out of clay (polymer, Model Magic or whatever else you have). Squeeze the tips together. You can put a tiny bead in the center to cover the connection. Let dry, bake or whatever the directions call for, and glue on a pin back.

• Shamrock’s from toilet paper rolls

• Shamrock Hair Bows

• Color a Shamrock Mandala

• Paint your nails with Shamrocks: Paint your finger nails a lovely shade of green (check out your local Dollar Store) and once dried, add tiny “peel and stick” shamrocks (also popular at Dollar Store). Examples of nail art.

In honor of St. Patrick’s Day, watch and listen to the Chieftains, Ireland’s most famous band playing traditional music.
• Watch some beautiful Irish countryside while listening to the Chieftain’s O’Sullivan’s March

• 100 Top Tracks of the Chieftain’s

Past “Take A Breaks” for St. Patrick’s Day
• Celtic Knots
• St. Brigid’s Cross
• Irish Soda Bread

Sixth Months Later: Learning from Crisis

While March is my month to update “Healing the Whole Person: Ways to Increase Well Being,” today I’m taking a diversion.

For starters, I’m pretty close to having it updated, but more importantly, I want to write about what happens when your community (which could be your own family after learning of someone’s diagnosis with a significant chronic illness) goes through tremendous upheaval, such as the flood my town experienced at the end of August (six months ago).

Even as we were serving food in the shelter and getting work crews into people’s homes, I was aware that this was the peak of the “good feelings.” One person said to me at the time, “I wish we could bottle these feelings and save them for times when we aren’t so generous to one another.” Lovely idea for sure.

We had the usual incidence of ill health and death that seem to accompany communities after a natural disaster. We had two deaths from heart attacks (the incidence of heart attacks for the next three years is much higher in communities having experienced a natural disaster) as well as the deaths of several elderly residents along with one of our youth. Many people have had flairs in their chronic conditions, with some being diagnosed for the first time, and pneumonia seems to have our town’s address on speed dial.

There have been issues about how flood relief money is being dispersed and I’ve become just a bit short tempered by the mental health people, who secured a grant and are being paid to help people deal with “the crisis.” My take is they are working to keep people in crisis so they can be paid.

People watch the weather channel religiously and probably have stock piled food more than usual. There have been a number of robberies plaguing the town-crime really doesn’t take a holiday. And to top it off, it’s “mud season,” that time of year where the ground is starting to thaw, refreezing at night and making it very difficult to get around with out having your feet coated in mud.

There is an upside because it’s “sugar season.” Maple trees are being taped and the smell of boiling sugar hangs in the air, with the promise of waffles and fresh syrup for breakfast. That aroma almost makes mud season worth it. If that doesn’t do it for you, there is “sugar-on- snow” and the food festivals around it.

The studies on loss and grief indicate that those who dwell excessively on negative emotions around their loss are at higher risk of developing depression. Those who recover quickly from a loss, say in the first few months, do not go on to develop depression. How quickly we recover is very much dependent on how many stressors we have in addition to the loss and the type of coping skills you have. Using alcohol and drugs makes it worse; taking a break using hobbies, arts and sports can help significantly.

In terms of natural disasters, which is what my community experienced, the literature indicates that those who got out and helped their neighbors and community do much better emotionally then those who do not. In our town, a high percentage of people where involved in one-way or another. Besides the occasional jab, people are doing okay.

Yes, there is fall out from what went on during the recovery. Our fire departments didn’t cooperate before the flood or during it, so why would we expect them to now? Neighbors that didn’t care for each other before the flood aren’t new best friends today. People do go back to old patterns in many cases. In fact, because of this last practice, I found myself incredibly frustrated by certain members of our community, who continue to miss the point that women are equal to men.

I really let this get to me in a way I shouldn’t, but in truth, I’m feeling that I’m just getting to be a bit old to continue dealing with the same issues I dealt with at the beginning of my career. I found myself growling about it to my husband and friends. In truth, the person that was most miserable about it all was me. It was to the point that I didn’t want to spend time with myself.

Yesterday, I happened to catch a documentary on the importance of forgiveness, which led me to a website that linked to the story of Kelly Connor. At 17, Connor accidentally caused the death of an elderly woman. After a life time of struggle trying to come to terms with what happened, she tried visualizing what her life would have been like if she had never had the accident. It was through that process that she realized that who she was, was because of the accident. This allowed her to begin a healing journey.

There was an important lesson for me in all of this. As Dickens wrote in “A Tale of Two Cities,” it was the best of times; it was the worst of times these last six months. We soared to great heights as a community and we acted less than civil at others.

We all have experiences, some solo and some as a community. Some are extremely positive and some very negative. Regardless, we are the sum of those experiences and they make us who we are, as community, family and individual. Instead of fighting it, maybe the most important thing we can do is embrace it, look for the positive (they’re always there) and forgive ourselves and others for our transgressions. That doesn’t mean we forget, because we really don’t want to have to learn that lesson over again. Instead, we continue to move forward from the most positive place we can.

Take a Break: Celtic Knots

St. Patrick’s Day is just around the corner so it’s time for some inspired “Irish” activities. For past activities, try
• Making Irish Soda Bread
• St. Brigid’s Cross

This year it’s all about the fun of Celtic Knots. Try some of the following activities
• Interactive Celtic Knot Designer
• Draw Celtic Knots
• Tie a Celtic Heart Knot
• Tie a Celtic Tree of Like Knot
• Color a Celtic Knot Mandala
• Make Celtic knot earrings

For something completely different, find out what your Celtic Tree astrological sign is.

If Celtic knots aren't for you, watch “The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore,” which won the Oscar this year for best short animation.

Mindfulness and Chronic Disease

In March, I explore the various components of my handout “Healing the Whole Person: Ways to Increase Well Being.” This week’s focus is on mindfulness and the impact it has on living with a chronic condition.

Most of us spend our lives obsessing about what’s happened and/or worrying about what could happen. While there are lots of quotes about not living in the past or fearing the future- “Be Here Now” (Ram Dass), “The Power of Now” (Eckart Tolle)- the tools to living mindfully aren’t necessarily the first things we think of.

In the late 1970’s, Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn developed one of the first successful strategies to help people deal with chronic pain. Called Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) program, MBSR is an 8-week intensive training in mindfulness meditation, based on ancient healing practices, which meets on a weekly basis. Mindfulness practice is ideal for cultivating greater awareness of the unity of mind and body, as well as of the ways the unconscious thoughts, feelings, and behaviors can undermine emotional, physical, and spiritual health. The mind is known to be a factor in stress and stress-related disorders, and meditation has been shown to positively effect a range of autonomic physiological processes, such as lowering blood pressure and reducing overall arousal and emotional reactivity. In addition to mindfulness practices, MBSR uses martial arts to help reverse the prevalence of disuse atrophy from our culture's largely sedentary lifestyle, especially for those with pain and chronic illnesses. The program brings meditation and yoga together so that the virtues of both can be experienced simultaneously . http://www.mindfullivingprograms.com/whatMBSR.php

Two decades of published research about MBSR, which is offered in many medical centers worldwide, has found the following The majority of people who complete the MBSR Program report lasting decreases in physical and psychological symptoms. The studies report:
• Dramatic reductions in pain levels and an enhanced ability to cope with pain that may
not go away
• Dramatic decreases of anxiety, depression, hostility and the tendency to somatize
• More effective skills in managing stress
• An increased ability to relax
• Greater energy and enthusiasm for life
• Improved self-esteem
• An ability to cope more effectively with both short and long-term stressful situations http://www.mindfullivingprograms.com/relatedresearch.php

MBSR is being used quite successfully to help people with a variety of chronic conditions. Why it works is pretty straightforward. Obsessing and ruminating cause stress, which is not good for the brain and body. By focusing on the present-often just on your breath-you stop the cycle that creates the anxiety and stress that compounds whatever else you have going on in your life.

The other component of the program is exercise. Whether it’s doing Qigong, a 30 minute walk or taking a zumba class, it helps to get our body moving and in touch with how our body feels and functions.

Research shows that connecting to the present activates those parts of the brain that prevent stress, anxiety and depression and in fact increases those parts of the brains associated with learning, memory and empathy. Think of a day where you spent it doing something you enjoy, yet requires your attention-e.g. gardening, cooking, painting or making something. How do you feel while you are doing it and immediately afterward? Do you feel content, relaxed, less anxious? Chances are you do.

If you can afford to take an MBSR course, click here to find the one closest to you. If it’s not feasible to attend the course, there are a number of ways to help you be mindful:

Practice S.T.O.P: This is from the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction Workbook. When you find yourself worrying, Stop, Take a Breath, Observe and Proceed

Follow the MBSR Workbook blog. The MBSR Workbook website has a wealth of information.

Take Kripalu Yoga Breaks throughout your day or whenever you feel stressed. These are generally no more than five minutes.

Meditate. The Mindfulness Awareness Research Center offers a variety of meditations, which you can listen to on-line or download to your MP 3 player for free. One of my favorite meditations is loving kindness, which I practice throughout the day as I find it stops me from ruminating about things I have no control over. My favorite is Sylvia Boorstein. Maybe it’s the tone of her voice, but I enjoy listening to her. Her Dharma talks at Spirit Rock are on-line and available for free

Mindfulness: The Basics

Take a Break: Every Wednesday is Take a Break day at Healing Whole. There are literally hundreds of activities to help focus your attention to the present and give you an enjoyable few minutes or hours of contentment.