I have been trying to write a post on purpose since April. Why write about it? For two reasons, one is that everything I read on well being, longevity and happiness identifies purpose as being an important characteristic/quality. Second, because so many people I’ve talked to this summer have been grappling with this issue. They are questioning what they should be doing with their life, as what they are doing isn’t getting the results they desire. And what might those results be? Happiness? Contentment? Feeling useful? Well-being? Seems like I’m heading back to my first point.
Why am I finding it so difficult to write about purpose? It’s a catch all term with any number of definitions-what is it that makes you want to get up in the morning; what it is that makes one want to succeed; goals; reason for being; what matters. According to Dan Pink, the author of "A Whole New Mind," Purpose is the yearning to do what we do in the service of something larger than ourselves. Maybe that last definition is the one that makes the most sense. So for this post, that’s the definition of purpose that I’m thinking of.
How does purpose relate to chronic disease? Many people, both caregivers and those living with an illness, have told me that the best thing that ever happened to them was the diagnosis. In a sea of fear, pain, anxiety and unknown, defining their purpose is what saved them. While some started support groups, raised money or become active in finding a cure for their condition, others made major changes in how they live, and interact with people and the world around them. Most engaged in activities that helped others.
But what if you are so compromised you aren’t able to do much for yourself, let alone someone else?
A few weeks ago, I read an interesting article “Finding Meaning in a Shrinking World.” The author Kathryn Britton is a coach working with professionals to increase well-being, energy and meaning. She was visiting an 87 year old friend in a nursing home and wondered what she could tell her friend about finding meaning in her current state. Attending the Meaning Conference, she wondered about giving meaning to life when you are no longer able to serve others or contribute with your life’s passion. As a result of the conference, she came up with the following list:
• Other people find meaning in life by serving you, so your needs enhance their lives.
• Younger people — your children, grandchildren, others who serve you – also learn by watching you. If you accept your shrinking world cheerfully, you may be making it easier for them to do so when their time comes.
• There is a time in life for doing and giving, and another time for receiving. Without someone to receive, nobody can give.
• Think about what would not have been if you had not existed. The existence of those things gives witness to your existence.
• Meaning doesn’t have to come from what you do. Meaning can come from the way you are. The time for doing is past. The time for being is now. One speaker, Z. Bellin, studied how people express meaning, and whether it is more dependent on doing or being. He said our understanding of meaning tends to be over-focused on accomplishment. There are many ways to experience meaning — by coping with difficulties and through interactions with others. Meaningful experiences remind us of our aliveness in relation to the world.
Alexander Batthyany, from the University of Vienna, was a keynote speaker. He said, “Up to the last moment we can choose what will be our harvest and what will remain of us.” He suggests we ask not only “Am I getting what I want? Am I feeling good?” but shift toward asking “Am I taking part in existence?” He stated that each of us is irreplaceable and unique. What really counts for psychological and existential well-being is having something to live for, which requires being open and flexible to the ever-changing meaning of the moment.
Additional Reading
Life Purpose from the University of Minnesota’s Taking Charge of Your Health
No comments:
Post a Comment