Between Covid,
elections, unemployment, to say nothing of whatever chronic condition you may
be dealing with, it’s basically the perfect “shit storm” out there. There are news
clips about how we’re all spiraling down into the outer layers of hell thanks
to Covid, the approaching winter and “Oh my God, the Holidays!!”
Now is the
perfect time to check your ‘grit ability” and start working on using it to
insure your health, safety and sanity. And also, as if I haven’t noted this
before, turn off the talking heads at least until the election has been
decided. Oh and that may not be for a few weeks until after Nov. 3.
Other than
knowing the John Wayne movie, “True Grit,” if this is an unfamiliar concept it’s
pretty straightforward, Grit is that strength that allows you to persevere and gets
you through the hard times.
You may have
heard of Angela Duckworth, read her book or watched her TED talk.
She is truly the “Grit Girl,” who coined the phrase that rocked the business
world. However, studies are showing that the same grit characteristics that
make you successful in business, also help people with chronic conditions. One
study
found that having higher levels of grit were associated with better health care
management skills and consequently resulted in a higher quality of life.
As Duckworth notes, Grit is passion
and perseverance for very long-term goals. Grit is having
stamina. Grit is sticking with your future, day in, day out, not just
for the week, not just for the month, but for years, and working
really hard to make that future a reality. Grit is living life like it's a
marathon, not a sprint. Living with chronic conditions is definitely a
marathon and not a sprint.
So..consider
the following to assess and expand your “grit ability:”
• Take the Grit Test
• Develop goals
that reflect both your ability to control outcomes, yet be flexible and open to
change. Cure is the
ultimate goal for many, regardless of what the condition might be. Sounds like
a lofty and unachievable goal, but there’s a different way to look at that
goal.
When I was
working in AIDS, one of the most common goal slogans was “Live for the cure.”
This was in total opposition to the comments I’d here from infectious disease
doctors, who assured me privately this would be an issue for my children’s
children. However, the unsaid goal was
living until there was an effective treatment but “Live for the effective
treatment” wasn’t exactly a catchy phrase.
That incredible
spirit of “cure,” “keep the love alive,” and being a PWA (person with AIDS)
versus an AIDS victim, kept people going. And not just PWAs used these phrases.
Everybody said it doctors, nurses, advocates. No matter what was said
privately, publicly, we were all on team cure.
Nothing thrills
me more to have worked through the many years of losing people to this disease.
Relatively speaking, it wasn’t that long before protease inhibitors were on the
market and the discussions started shifting from dying to “oh my God, I’m in
debt up to my neck! How am I going to pay this back?”
In short, cure is a fine long term goal but set
achievable shorter term ones so that you can regularly experience contentment
as you reach these benchmarks. For example, getting certain disease markers
under control (such as controlling blood sugar if you are diabetic). Gritty
people want to improve so continually redefining goals and objectives can
continue to propel you forward.
Keep in mind,
you got to have hope, and science continues to show we do have the ability to
change our brain through effort and experience.
• Having a
sense of purpose really helps. You want to see an effective treatment in your
life time not only for yourself but to also benefit the people around you-be it
support group members or family members who might be at more risk. Check out
the post Do you feel that you matter?
• Use your
rational mind to guide your behavior and try not to fall prey to emotions.
Facts do matter so assess situations based on the facts and not on how they
make you feel. There’s a lot of misinformation out there that is based on
emotion and not facts.
• Failure is
part of the deal. Embrace it. We can learn more from failure than success sometimes.
Keep in mind that if you aren’t successful at something it doesn’t mean you’re a
failure. It just means you need to approach it differently.
• Take the risk
and check your fear at the door. Eleanor Roosevelt recommended doing something
that scared you every day. Courage is like a muscle-you gotta exercise it or
it gets flabby, weak and useless. On the other hand, well exercised, it will
grow and help you.
• Recognize
that resiliency is part of the human DNA. Trust in yourself embracing the
positives and the negatives recognizing that it will turn out alright in the
end.
• You are who
you hang out with so surround yourself with gritty people. Having positive peer
pressure, as well as a good mentor, will definitely improve things for
you.
• Finally Optimism
+ Confidence + Creativity = Resilience = Hardiness =(+/- )Grit This is a good summary equation from Margaret M. Perlis.
