I’ve been a Sylvia Boorstein fan for a number of years and now that she just turned 90, I’ve been curious what she would have to say about this phase of life.
If you aren’t familiar with Boorstein, she is a psychotherapist, and Jewish Buddhist who is one of the founding teachers at Spirit Rock Meditation Center. The author of five books, she has a way to synthesize ideas and concepts to make it easier about making changes to enhance one ‘s life. For example, she simplifies the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism down to three Life is challenging. For everyone. Our physical bodies, our relationships-all of our life circumstances-are fragile and subject to change. We are always accommodating. The cause of suffering is the mind’s struggle in response to challenge. The end of suffering-a non-struggling, peaceful mind-is a possibility.
In the podcast with Dan Harris of 10% Happier, she distilled down many ideas that we struggle with through our lives, particularly with the continual changes resulting from chronic illness. What’s my purpose? What’s the meaning of life? How do I handle the anger that wells up? How do I handle all the changes that are happening?
As always, she provides stories from her own life to illustrate her points.
What quickly caught my attention was her idea that our purpose in life is the simple things, hold someone’s hand because we’re all on this confusing journey of life as we walk each other home. The walking each other home phrase is from Ram Dass, which basically means we’re all working our way back to the source so help each other along in the process ‘cause it’s not easy for anybody. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture, it’s the simple things that lets others know they are seen, heard and matter.
While I highly recommend watching one of the videos of talks she’s done, below are some quotes, followed by some other links, that I find useful.
On Anger: What if someone hurts you with a weapon? Wait. Think it over. You probably feel angry. That's normal. But wasn't it the stick striking your body that hurt you? Can you be angry at the stick? Of course not. Should you be angry at the wielder of the stick? Wouldn't it make more sense to be angry at the hatred in the mind of the stick wielder? If you think about it, isn't the end of hatred in the world what you want most of all? Why, then, would you add to it by giving energy to your anger? After all, it will pass on its own if left alone, especially if you respond to it with compassion.
If we can keep at least a bit of the mind clear about temporality, we can manage complicated, even difficult times with grace.
“Mindfulness meditation doesn't change life. Life remains as fragile and unpredictable as ever. Meditation changes the heart's capacity to accept life as it is. It teaches the heart to be more accommodating, not by beating it into submission, but by making it clear that accommodation is a gratifying choice.”
“The mind is like tofu. It tastes like whatever you marinate it in.”
“Pain is inevitable; lives come with pain. Suffering is not inevitable. If suffering is what happens when we struggle with our experience because of our inability to accept it, then suffering is an optional extra
the moment in which the mind acknowledge 'This isn't what I wanted, but it's what I got' is the point at which suffering disappears. Sadness might remain present, but the mind ... is free to console, free to support the mind's acceptance of the situation, free to allow space for new possibilities to come into view.
Bad things happen to good people. My happiness depending on my action means, to me, that it depends on my action of choosing compassion--for myself as well as for everyone else--rather than contentment
Life is inevitably challenging, and how are we going to do it in a way that’s wise and doesn’t complicate it more than it is, just by itself?
"Sweetheart, you're in pain. Take a breath."
Video/Podcast Links
• Interview with Dan Harris 10% Happier
• Sylvia Boorstein Dharma Talks At Spirit Rock Meditation Center
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