Sunday, November 8, 2026

Life with Chronic Conditions: Be the advocate for the Patient and their care team

This morning I came across an article in the Wall Street Journal Hospitals are so crowded patients spend 24 hours in the ER hallways Wait times for hospital beds are getting longer, clogging up emergency rooms, and doctors say it is only getting worse,

A good friend of mine just experienced this, hence today's post.

Many hospitals are under staffed, either due to budget cuts or can’t find personnel. Many hard working members of the medical team are dedicated, caring, and badly overworked.  Both the patient and their medical team need our advocacy and support. 

As noted in the Wall Street Journal article, Patients who are stuck in the E.R. should bring medication lists and be candid with staff about what they are experiencing. They shouldn’t be afraid to ask for care or for updates on when a bed will become available. “It’s OK to advocate for yourself, to put us on the spot.”

Not every patient is in a position to advocate for themselves, this is what you can do to support them.

HOW TO ADVOCATE FOR A PATIENT Start by working with family and friends to cover shifts in the hospital. If no one can cover a time period, see if the hospital has a sitter program or if they can help you arrange one. A sitter will stay with the person and can advocate for them if needed. Keep in mind that certain patients-such as those who are unconscious, have cognitive issues, are in severe pain-are particularly vulnerable and need advocates around the clock if possible. Others mainly need help during the day. Note there are places where there are strict limitations on visting. These are set in place for a reason so please adhere to them. 

• Check with the hospital to see if they have a patient advocate program that can assist in getting what the patient needs in a timely manner. This is generally done through the social work department.

• HIPAA, which governs patient confidentiality, is implemented slightly different by hospitals as well as departments within hospitals. Many times the medical provider will ask the patient who you are and whether they have permission to speak in front of you. Some hospitals will want a signature from the patient stating they can provide you with their medical information. 

• Spend time in the room and alert the staff when something is wrong-they aren’t getting medications on time, or appear to you as being in distress. If you need to leave the room, make sure the alert button is in easy reach of the patient. Having been the advocate for friends and family, I generally let the care team know if I’m leaving for the day or if I’m just stepping out, if I’m with someone that is seriously ill. 

• Take notes and leave notes: Helping patients keep track of tests, procedures, meds, allergic reactions etc. is important to their healing and future health. In addition, the next person coming in has a better idea of how the day is going. Having a patient health notebook with a pen makes this process easier.  After the hospital stay, the patient will have a good record that they can reference.

 

SUPPORTING THE HOSPITAL STAFF:  You want to avoid being labeled a “difficult family”  as much as possible. "Difficult families ask questions in an accusatory tone and are not satisfied with our answers. They demand updates at a frequency that we find excessive, they interrogate the nurses, they make choices that we find objectionable.… They are considered unreasonable.” However, what hospital personnel consider “difficult” may in fact be good advocacy for a patient that’s being overlooked. A lot of this is about how you approach the staff. 

 

• Pick a point person: The last thing overworked staff need are lots of different family and friends calling and wanting information, Ideally the point person would be the patient’s health proxy (the person who can make medical decision if the patient is unable to do so). The goal is this individual talks by phone or in person, is part of the patient team meetings and disperses the information to the rest of the family. During care team meetings, notes should be taken so the information is understandable to the family. Don’t hesitate to repeat back what you think they’re telling you. This gives an opportunity to correct something you may not be clear about. 

 

• Know their schedule: Respect busy period, shift changes, meals etc. and avoid calling or requesting non-urgent updates

 

• Listen: Listen to what the medical care team is telling you. It’s helpful to write questions down when you are thinking of them. This is the time to ask your questions and get clarification on something you or the patient don’t understand. 

 

• Adhere to hospital policies: Policies and procedures are put in place for the patient, staff and visitors safety. Abide by the rules. If the area restricts live flowers, don’t bring them as this may be part of infection control. Sneaking in a pet, drugs (prescribed, over the counter or illegal) or other restricted items can cause a lot of problems and ultimately takes away from needed patient care.

 

• Donations: There are a variety of ways to make donations that help both the staff and patients. Check with hospital personnel about what would be helpful. 

 

• Thank you: Please and thank you are always appreciated. You can also express gratitude by providing, lunch, snacks, coffee, or gift certificates.

 

• Volunteer: If you have the time, talk to the hospital’s volunteer coordinator and see in what ways you can help. I have several friends that are artists and they will run workshops at the hospital for staff and patients. 

 

·       Provide feedback: Positive or negative, feedback about your experience is helpful. Unfortunately, people are very quick to complain and seldom let people know how much they appreciate the help they were given. I was working at a mountain first aid unit and by the end of the season I figured I was burned out and decided not to return the following year However, a family sent the most amazing letter about how we had made such a difference for them, I rethought that decision.

 

Other Posts

• How to be a friend with a pen 

• Offering Help that Helps 

• Responding when Disaster Strikes Friends and Family 

• How to Help Those Who Are Injured, Ill, Grieving or in Need of Comfort

• How Caregivers Can Improve Communication With Hospital Staff 

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