How to Respond when you learn that someone is ill or injured

                                                   Updated September 2016

At a party in July 2011, a group of us were talking about gift cards and how we used them. I was saying about how helpful they were when someone was sick or injured. One of the women said, “can you put this in writing and e-mail it around? This is something we all experience at some time or another.” So below is my response to that request that I continue to update. Please note that if you are the person responsible for someone who is injured/ill, there is a special post for such situations at  When You’re Responsible for Someone Who has been Injured or Diagnosed.

Gift Cards: If someone has been newly diagnosed with a very serious illness or is injured, this can be a difficult time for the person and those closest to them. Whether they are a close friend, a work colleague,  a friend’s parent or sibling, or even a neighbor, sending a card with a gift card enclosed is very helpful. You don’t have to write an elaborate note. Just saying “thinking of you” with the gift card speaks volumes. As one person at the party pointed out,  “cash can just get spent so quickly, that it’s sometimes better to give a gift card for something you know they’re going to need.”

Types of Gift Cards to Enclose:

• Gas: Traveling back and forth for hospital visits, doctor’s appointments etc. can be very costly.

• Local Pharmacy: Most likely medications and other items will be needed.

• Food Store: People do have different tastes, so giving them a card for their local grocery store lets them make the choice. Besides, many stores have “to go” departments.

• Restaurants: Select ones that the person likes, they can access easily and have a “to go” menu.

• Master/Visa Cards: You can purchase these type of cards for selected amounts.

Please be advised that gift card fraud is on the rise so be sure to purchase them from a reputable dealer. For other safety tips, go to Gift Cards Safety.

Helping out at Home: There are many things you can do to help out at home. Saying “call me if you need me” isn’t sufficient. People can be very overwhelmed so provide specifics of what you can do and when. There are a variety of these types of tasks that can be done, such as

- mow the lawn, tend the garden, stack wood and other yard work and outdoor chores

- plow the drive and walk after a snow

- clean the house

- household repairs

- take out garbage, recycling

- stock the refrigerator with salads and easy meals

- childcare/elder care

- transportation-driving kids to school, hospital etc.

- run errands

- pick up mail and the newspaper

- laundry

- keep an eye on the house

Keep in mind there are cleaning services and a gift certificate might be appropriate.

When it’s a work colleague: If this is someone you work with, in addition to the various suggestions in this post, consider donating vacation and leave time to help offset the time they are missing at work.

Unique Situations: Certain situations have unique requests, such as donating blood or signing up as a bone marrow donor. You may not be in a position to donate, but you can help make donations possible, by helping to organize blood and donor drives, providing transportation to those who need rides and/or making food for the events.

Finding Out How They are Doing: Then there is the question of stopping by, calling or e-mailing to find out how the person is doing. There are no rules on this score, but everyone seems to have an opinion about it. Some people want to be left alone, and for others, they gain support from each person that calls or stops by. What you may think you would want in a particular situation may not be right for them. Use your best judgment. You can try contacting people closer to the situation than you are and ask if they are taking phone calls or want visitors.

Organize a Response: One of the most helpful things a community can do in these situations is organize their response. This can now be done for free and quite simply by creating a Lotsa Helping Hands website. With the approval of the family and/or person injured or ill, a site can be established very quickly, ?” Lotsa Helping Hands is a private, web-based caregiving coordination service that allows family, friends, neighbors, and colleagues to create a community to assist a family caregiver with the daily tasks that become a challenge during times of medical crisis, caregiver exhaustion, or when caring for an elderly parent. Each community includes an intuitive group calendar for scheduling tasks such as meals delivery and rides, a platform for securely sharing vital medical, financial, and legal information with designated family members, and customizable sections for posting photos, well wishes, blogs, journals, and messages. 

For the person who is injured/ill: Check out Unique Gifts for Hospitalized Patients. 

Learn more ways to help:  If you are a good friend or family member, learn more about what the person(s) directly responsible for the person who is ill/injured needs to do- WhenYou’re Responsible for Someone Who has been Injured or Diagnosed and don't ignore the financial strain brought about by the event-In Lieu of Flowers: Help with Finances Please!

Be realistic in your expectations: This is an extremely stressful time, so don't expect thank you notes, cards etc.

Take a Break: Make Bubbles

My good friend’s birthday was this past weekend and I decided bubbles were in order. However, I didn’t have any wands or bubble mixture, or the time to get either. However, I remembered my mother making us a bubble mixture out of dish washing liquid (Joy, Dawn) and water. She didn’t add glycerin or white corn syrup, but the ratio always seemed to be a lot of water to a little bit of the washing liquid.

I should mention that years ago, at a music festival, I saw I Tom Noddy of Bubble Magic fame make a square bubble. I was hooked. I spent quite a bit of time working at duplicating his tricks, but gave it up since it involved cigarette smoke. Fortunately, Noddy is still at it but has figured out a way to use a tiny fog machine to give the same effect.

But back to Saturday’s bubble experiments. It was time for a bit of R & D. I took a plastic lid and squirted a little dish detergent (do not use dishwasher liquid as that is designed to decrease bubbles) and a lot of water. The ratio is usually around 1 part liquid to 15 parts water, but I didn’t measure.

All I needed was the wand. I found the coolest one to make from two sheets of paper at the Bubble Town website. It’s basically making a tube-looks like a mini horn of plenty, which I tapped off with a sliver of duct tape. Most people would use regular tape, but I have more duct tape in my office than the other stuff. Well, if you must know, I make a lot of stuff out of duct tape.

I dipped my “wand” into the mixture and blew the biggest bubble I’ve ever made. The downside of the paper wand is that you do have to let it dry. However, try other items you might have in the kitchen, like a funnel, an empty juice can or yogurt container cut into rings (make sure the edge is smooth), cookie cutter, etc.

The Bubble Town website mentioned that if you let the bubble mixture sit, it gets better over time. I’ve been trying it at various points for the last forty eight hours and I discovered two things, you can’t blow bubbles and be angry or ticked off about anything-it’ll make you laugh, and the longer the mixture sits the better it gets. I finally washed my lid on Monday, having made the biggest and best bubble of all. My number one fan, our dog, loved it and of course needed to “nose it.” You can imagine what followed.

You can add food coloring to the solution and make colored bubbles. The downside is that it will leave a stain when it pops. However, you could lay down a piece of paper, blow colored bubbles, and end up with a cool art project.

So create your own bubble magic today using what you have around the house.

Homemade Bubble Solutions: Lots of different recipes to try.

Antigravity Bubbles (video)

Long Lasting Bubbles: This looks like a very cool project, but I haven’t tried it yet.

Bubble wands out of Pipe Cleaners

Bubble Magic

Should I Try a Clinical Trial?

In order to see if a medication or a treatment will work, prevent a disease or even eliminate side effects of existing treatments, researchers test it out. There are different types of clinical trials, but the focus of this post is to help you decide whether to do a study where a new treatment (medication, surgical or other type of intervention) for your condition is being studied.

The pluses of participating in such a clinical trial include:
• It could result in a cure and/or improve how you feel and function
• You will be helping others
• You may get more medical attention while you are in the study
• Medical care costs and the experimental treatment will often be covered
• You may have access to treatment that would not otherwise be available.
• It may expand your treatment options
• You may feel you have more control over your situation by taking such an active role

The downsides, or risks, are quite real. These may include:
• Side effects can be serious and could even make you feel worse than you already do.
• If this is a placebo controlled study, or one trying several different regiments, you may not receive the experimental regiment
• It may require travel, and time (such as more doctor and lab visits) that could not only be inconvenient but could also be wearing on you.
• Insurers may not cover all of the costs of taking part in a clinical trial, but they should pay for normal or standard care.

Before deciding whether a particular clinical trial is one you want to participate in, you will need to meet the study requirements. These will be quite specific, including such things as your age, gender, diagnosis, prior treatment etc.

Sometimes providers will suggest studies to patients, other times, people will learn about them from support groups or looking on-line. To find out about clinical trails that you may qualify for, talk to your medical provider, check your medical center’s website, and check Clinical Trials.gov

If you qualify for a study, consider the questions below. To help you in the decision making process, rate each question with a plus –a good reason to participate-or a minus-a reason not to participate. When you finish, add up the pluses and minuses and see which seems to be the best option for you.

• Who is conducting the research?
• What is its purpose? What are the potential short and long term benefits?
• What has your doctor told said about your condition and what the future holds? Could your participation impact this?
• Has the treatment been tested before? If yes, what did the research show?
• How are trial results and patient safety being checked?
• Is there a research site close to where you live? Would you have to travel? Is so, would this present a problem?
• Would you have to change providers to be part of the clinical trial? Who would be in charge of your care? Your long-term care?
• What are the side effects of the treatment? How could they affect your life? Does it require hospitalization? Can you continue to take your current medications or engage in complimentary and alternative therapies that you may be using?
• Can you leave the trial at any time?
• Are there costs involved in the trial, such as having to pay for travel, meals if away for extended periods of time? Will these associated costs be picked up by the clinical trial?
• How long will the trial last?
• Could the trial impact current treatment you may be receiving?

Keep in mind that all clinical trials are voluntary. Do not be talked into something that you are not comfortable with and be sure to discuss your concerns and choices with your medical provider.

Resources
Clinical Trials: What You Need to Know from the American Cancer Society: This site provides easy to read and understand information about clinical trials. While the focus is cancer treatment, the basic information applies to any condition.

FDA Basic Questions and Answers About Clinical Trials

Clinical Trials. Gov

Take a Break: Fruit Carving

It’s been hot where I live and so I have little interest in turning on my stove, or even cooking for that matter. I tend to gravitate to fruit, which has recently made me start thinking of fruit carving.

I can use a melon baller just fine, and take larger pieces of fruit, such as a melon or pineapple slices and cut with a cookie cutter, but I wanted a bit more zip to my fruit. Don’t get me wrong, there is a lot you can do with a melon baller and a cookie cutter, particularly if you cut out an interesting shape with a cookie cutter and dip a portion of it in chocolate.

If you have a chance to see edible fruit arrangements, they will use a flower cookie cutter to cut pineapple or honey dew melon. They then use a melon baller to make the center of the flower using a different color melon, attachinh the ball to the center using a toothpick. What could be easier?

So get out your pumpkin carving kit, and/or sharp knife with a point, some skewers and tooth picks and use the links below to create some amazing centerpieces as well as keep you amused for hours if you like.

Thai Fruit Carving video

Thai Carving using fruits, vegetables: Includes 16 different designs. Very clear instructions, with step-by-step pictures.

Chocolate Covered Strawberry Roses

Carving Fruit into Edible Arrangements Blog

Asia Recipes This link provides a nice overview of the types of fruits and vegetables to use for carving, how to prep them and ways to preserve them when finish. Step by step directions are provided for making a watermelon basket, apple leaf, simple white lotus cucumber garnish.

Video of roses with citrus peel

Unique Gifts for Hospital Patients

Updated September 2016

Years ago my mother was hospitalized for close to a month. I started bringing her something small each day, which she looked forward to. After a few weeks I was running out of ideas and started asking everyone I knew for suggestions. Books, magazines and crossword puzzles only go so far.

Her favorite gift was a beta fish, which lived in a small glass bowl, only requiring feeding every other day. This kept her occupied for hours and entertained the staff as well. However, it is unlikely that most hospitals would allow such a “visitor” these days. One of the important aspects of the fish was that it gave her something she felt responsible for. After undergoing major surgery, one of her first concerns was whether “Darth,” her name for the fish, had been fed.

Studies have shown that nursing home patients do much better if they have a live plant they care for. If the person is in a part of the hospital that allows flowers and plants, give them a plant to look after-not one that requires too much care though.

Before taking something to the hospital, check out rules and regulations about what’s allowed for the area of the hospital where the person is staying. Some units do not permit cut flowers or plants. Balloons and silk flowers can help to brighten the room along with a special picture in such cases.

Feeling attractive brightens one’s mood, so providing a unique bed jacket, shawl, bathrobe or slippers can do a lot to boost someone’s morale. Old Navy will often have seasonal pajama bottoms and colorful socks that can be fun. A basket of toiletries can be very welcome, particularly if they had to leave suddenly for the hospital and don’t have their preferred toothpaste, lotion, lipstick etc. Avoid scented products whenever possible due to allergies.

Take a Break: Having something to do is critical. Using Wednesday’s “Take a Break Day” posts are a good way to have unique projects for them to do. For a quick overview use the Pinterest site Take a Break. Some of these will be fun projects to do together, which can make the visit a bit more fun for both of you.

Art Kit: You might want to make your own “art kit” for them by including markers, colored pencils, special paper, scissors, tape and even some copies of mandalas for them to color.

Craft Kits: These aren’t for everyone, but if they like to make things, picking up a small craft project from stores like Michael’s or Joann’s can be a lifesaver. Some people can spend all day happily making beaded bracelets or crocheting a hat. If you think it’s a good fit, there are many different types of kits you can pick up. A set of uniquely colored and designed beads can occupy someone who likes to make jewelry for hours.

Puzzle books are entertaining and exercise the brain as well. Hospital gift shops will contain a variety of such books. However, check out your local bookstore, or even used book store, as many of them have such books on the bargain sale rack. Minute mysteries can keep one occupied for hours.

Comfort Items: Providing items like a special pillow and lotion can help to ease the time in bed. For many, comfort food is a must. Whether it’s a sandwich from the favorite deli, organic chocolate, or that special Mac and cheese that only you can make, having food other than the hospitals is a welcome change. Be sure to check first about special diets. An eye mask may be ideal for the patient that wants to sleep. If it’s something the patient can have, arrange for a massage.

Electronics: A laptop computer, iPad, iPod, tablet, or Kindle provides hours of entertainment, as well as a way to stay connected. These are expensive items, but you can often find sales at Amazon or at electronic stores. Many hospitals and libraries offer iPad’s, or their equivalent, and electronic books on loan, so check out their availability. The toy section of your local big box store (e.g. Wal-Mart or K Mart) will have some portable electronic games, which can help pass the time. One word of caution, electronic items can easily be stolen so encourage the person to lock up their devices when not in the room.

Since most hospitals offer free Wi-fi, consider giving a month or longer subscription to websites that provide video streaming-Amazon Prime, Netflicks, Hula Plus. If they aren't tech savvy, spend some time teaching them how to operate their device.

Keep in mind that the staff can be as entertained by something you bring as much as the patient. If the staff stays an extra few minutes to talk about the new gift that’s arrived, it gives a lift to the patient.

Gifts that Aid in Healing  

Gifts for Special Times of Year
Halloween 
Thanksgiving 
Christmas/Holiday
Valentine's 
Summer