Take a Break: Create A Superhero

We all need a hero in our life, so today’s “take a break” is about creating your very own superhero that can do amazing and wonderful things. The rules are simple-what would you like to see in a super hero?

Step 1: Decide on the extraordinary features of your superhero- flying, invisibility, fire breathing, turn into water or rubber; flexibility; blend into their surroundings; read minds and so on. What’s their weakness since they all have their kryptonite? This list of character traitsmight help you figure out your super hero. 

Step 2: Based on the characteristics of your superhero, create a back story-Where are they from and where do they live now? Do they have a love interest? What about a “day job?” Best friends? What kind of situations do they respond to? Who are their arch rivals?

Step 3: Give your superhero a name, if you haven’t done so already. Need help? Check out Ideas about How to Name a Superhero 

Step 4: It’s time to bring your superhero to life using the resources below. 

• Marvel’s Create Your Own Superhero 

• Heromachine 

• How to Draw a Superhero Head 

• Draw a Female Superhero 

If you are interested in writing a short story, comic or even a book about your character, check out Superhero Nation: We’ve made every writing mistake so you don’t have to. 

Not interested in today’s activity? Check out the Take a Break Pinterest for lots of Take a Break ideas. 

They need help, but they refuse it.

One of the more difficult things for those affected (e.g. family, friends, neighbors, colleagues) by someone’s chronic condition, injury, life threatening illness or aging is what to do when they reject the help and support being offered. This can play out in a multitude of ways. My husband’s client called to say he was diagnosed with a condition, though treatable, he opted not to do so, and wanted assistance with his estate. His decision was ironclad and no amount of urging from his wife, friends or children changed it.

 It’s not uncommon for someone to hide their illness from family and friends, not unlike what a cat or dog might do. When it becomes obvious something is very wrong, they still may reject help. Many an adult child can write a book about how their parent(s) were in desperate need of help and refused it every step of the way, while the issues faced by family and friends of loved ones with mental health or substance users are legendary

People literally turn their lives upside down trying to be helpful to no avail. Helping is a basic instinct, which is why it’s not surprising that How to Respond When Someone is Ill or Injured is the second most popular post on this blog. While tips abound in this How to post, today’s focus is when someone in your orbit-parent, sibling, friend, colleague, spouse or neighbor- clearly needs help, you’ve offered and they’ve refused it.

Why Help is Rejected: People reject help for a variety of reasons. 1) Sometimes people are literally overwhelmed by the outpouring of support and help, particularly in the early stages of a diagnosis and treatment. 2) They can adopt ideas and beliefs out of fear, and the more you try to get them to change, regardless of your relationship to them, or what you say or do,  the tighter they hold on to them.  

3) Dealing with major illness is all consuming, so if your views are somewhat different, particularly when it comes to major areas like treatment, they may shut you out on general principles. 4) Stigma, denial, low self-esteem and/or lack of funds or health insurance, can also be contributing factors, and in the case of substance users, they may have no interest in stopping. 5) Note that disease and/or aging can cause cognitive impairment not only making the person more fearful, but also rendering them unable to understand what’s actually happening to them.

Assess Your Responsibility:  If  you think the person is in a position to harm themselves and/or others, you can call: a) the person’s family member(s) or b) local police, asking for a well fair check or even c) adult protective services in your state.

If this is an elderly family member, there are resources in your community that can help you, such as  your local Area Agency on Aging,  Senior Center or state office on Aging. The links below offer recommendations to assist parents who are reluctant to accept help. 

• Nine Strategies to Help a Parent Who Refuses Care 

• When a Parent Says “No”

If the person you are trying to help is dealing with addiction or mental health issues, check the following resources.

• Your Family Member Has Bipolar Disorder and is Refusing Treatment 

• National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence Helping a Family Member or Friend 

• Al-Anon/Alateen: Support for friends and families of problem drinkers and drug users 

• NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) 

Keep in mind that if they are not a threat to self or others, there isn’t that much you can do.

Recognize that Bad Things do Happen and there are times we can do nothing to stop it. Sometimes a negative experience will help them make a better choice. It may take a few missed meals, or a fall down the steps, for Mom to decide Meals on Wheels or a one level apartment are better options for her. Loss of a job, relationship and/or being arrested may be the wake up call a person with an addiction might need.

Educate Yourself: By learning about the person’s condition, including participating in support groups for affected family and friends, you will have a better understanding of their situation. It can help you decide how you want to live your life in respect to this individual.

Acceptance: As much as you may want to help, when it’s not wanted, there really isn’t much you can do. Many centuries ago, the Greek philosopher Epictetus wrote, "Make the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens. Some things are up to us and some things are not up to us.” Today’s version of that is the “serenity prayer.” God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference.

Ultimately, their body, their choice. 

Take a Break: Paint a rock

I happen to love rocks, have a stack by my desk and collect them whenever I’m near water. Recently I’ve seen some beautifully painted ones and thought it would be fun to try. Had no idea how meditative it could be. So it’s pretty straightforward:

• Find a rock with a smooth surface. Best spots for finding these type of rocks are where there is fast moving water, such as rivers, streams and the ocean. If you can’t find one, your local craft store and Dollar Store will have bags of them.

• Decide on a word, picture or whatever you’d like to see on your rock.

• Wash your stone as the paints adhere better to a clean stone.

 

• Use Sharpies, acrylic paints or market paints and start creating. If you want a solid color background, use 2 coats of an acrylic paint. If you like the dots effect, you can use a cotton swabs and toothpicks. Glue things to your stones, such as a picture, googly eyes, sequins or whatever strikes your fancy. At the moment I’m into the Sharpie Metallic pens and dots.

I found this video of a Mandala Painted Pebble by MagaMerlina to be mesmerizing. Notice the tool she’s using.

Not interested in today’s activity? Check out the Take a Break Pinterest for lots of Take a Break ideas. 

Depression and Chronic Disease

Which comes first the depression or the chronic disease? 

According to the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) ... This association between depression and chronic disease appears attributable to depressive disorders precipitating chronic disease and to chronic disease exacerbating symptoms of depression. In other words-people with depression develop chronic disease and those with a chronic condition can become depressed. 

Depression is one of the most common complications of chronic illness, with a third of people with a serious medical condition having such symptoms. The more serious the disease, and the disruptions to quality of life, the higher the depression risk.

Research indicates depression rates for the following conditions:

• Coronary artery disease: 18-20% experience depression

• Parkinson’s Disease or Multiple sclerosis 40%

• Cancer or Diabetes: 25%

• Chronic pain syndrome 30-54%

 “Caregiver depression” is also a risk and needs to be taken seriously. Since people in this position will often put the needs of their charge over their own, it’s easy for them to experience feelings of sadness, anger and loneliness.

Consider the following:

 • Recognize the signs and symptoms of depression. Be aware that these can also be a sign of changes in your health status. Consequently, it’s important to report this to your medical provider sooner rather than later.

Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. A bleak outlook—nothing will ever get better and there’s nothing you can do to improve your situation.

Loss of interest in daily activities. No interest in former hobbies, pastimes, social activities, or sex. You’ve lost your ability to feel joy and pleasure.

Appetite or weight changes. Significant weight loss or weight gain—a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month.

Sleep changes. Either insomnia, especially waking in the early hours of the morning, or oversleeping (also known as hypersomnia).

Anger or irritability. Feeling agitated, restless, or even violent. Your tolerance level is low, your temper short, and everything and everyone gets on your nerves.

Loss of energy. Feeling fatigued, sluggish, and physically drained. Your whole body may feel heavy, and even small tasks are exhausting or take longer to complete.

Self-loathing. Strong feelings of worthlessness or guilt. You harshly criticize yourself for perceived faults and mistakes.

Reckless behavior. You engage in escapist behavior such as substance abuse, compulsive gambling, reckless driving, or dangerous sports.

Concentration problems. Trouble focusing, making decisions, or remembering things.

Unexplained aches and pains. An increase in physical complaints such as headaches, back pain, aching muscles, and stomach pain. 

Depression Symptoms & Warning Signs 

 • If you’d like a better gage of what you are feeling, there are on-line depression tests you can take. One such test is from Psychology Today and will take about 20 minutes. 

• Talk to your medical provider The sooner you are treated for the depression the better you’ll feel on all levels. Be honest with your provider and tell them how you feel.

• If you are a caregiver, recognize that “caregiver depression” is a possibility for anyone, so do what you can to prevent it by:

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     Reaching out to others for help-join a support on-line or in person; utilize respite services, which might be available from the medical facility where the person receives their care and/or from a condition specific organization (e.g. Parkinson’s Disease Association); organize a Lotsa Helping Hands website  to make it easier for people to help you and your charge.

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      Make yourself a priority: Make time to relax and do things you enjoy. Exercise, going out to dinner with friends, attending a religious service, meditating, watching your favorite TV show, going to the movies, getting a massage, etc. are all ways you can improve how you feel. Be sure to keep your own medical appointments.

-       Don’t isolate from family and friends: Continue to enjoy their company when possible.

-       Use a journal to write about how you feel.

• • You can reduce your risk for depression by following many of the suggestions in Healing the Whole Person: Ways to Increase Well-Being 

• • If you feel suicidal, get help immediately by calling Suicide Help 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or National Hopeline Network at 1-800-784-2433 or go to Suicide Help: Dealing with Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings. Caregivers should check out Suicide Prevention: How to Help Someone Who is Suicidal.