At a party this week, a group of us were talking about gift cards and how we used them. I was saying about how helpful they were when someone was sick or injured. One of the women said, “can you put this in writing and e-mail it around? This is something we all experience at some time or another.” So here is my response to that request:
If someone has been newly diagnosed with a very serious illness or is injured, this can be a difficult time for the person and those closest to them. Whether they are a close friend, a work colleague, a friend’s parent or sibling, or even a neighbor, sending a card with a gift card enclosed is very helpful. As one person at the party pointed out, “cash can just get spent so quickly, that it’s sometimes better to give a gift card for something you know they’re going to need.”
Types of Gift Cards to Enclose:
• Gas: Traveling back and forth for hospital visits, doctor’s appointments etc. can be very costly.
• Local Pharmacy: Most likely medications and other items will be needed.
• Food Store: People do have different tastes, so giving them a card for their local grocery store lets them make the choice. Besides, many stores have “to go” departments.
• Restaurants: Select ones that the person likes, they can access easily and have a “to go” menu.
• Master/Visa Cards: You can purchase these type of cards for selected amounts.
There are many things you can do to help out at home. A friend once told me how, when her husband was dying, her brother came once a week and took the trash to the transfer station. She never had to ask, he just took care of it. There are a variety of these types of tasks that can be done, such as mow the lawn; tend the garden; plow the drive and walk after a snow; clean, or pick up mail and the newspaper. If you are a neighbor, watching the house can be a big help.
If there are children or other family members that need to be cared for, such as an elderly parent, offer to help by babysitting, picking kids up from school, having them at your house etc.
Certain situations have unique requests, such as donating blood or signing up as a bone marrow donor. You may not be in a position to donate, but you can help make donations possible, by organizing blood and donor drives, providing transportation to those who need rides and/or making food for the events.
Then there is the question of stopping by, calling or e-mailing to find out how the person is doing. There are no rules on this score, but everyone seems to have an opinion about it. Some people want to be left alone, and for others, they gain support from each person that calls or stops by. Some need the opportunity to talk about the situation, and for others the exact opposite is true. What you may think you would want in a particular situation may not be right for them. You can try contacting people closer to the situation than you are and ask if they are taking phone calls or want visitors. Use your best judgment.
One of the most helpful things a community can do in these situations is organize their response. This can now be done for free and quite simply by creating a Lotsa Helping Hands website. With the approval of the family and/or person injured or ill, a site can be established very quickly, ” Lotsa Helping Hands is a private, web-based caregiving coordination service that allows family, friends, neighbors, and colleagues to create a community to assist a family caregiver with the daily tasks that become a challenge during times of medical crisis, caregiver exhaustion, or when caring for an elderly parent. Each community includes an intuitive group calendar for scheduling tasks such as meals delivery and rides, a platform for securely sharing vital medical, financial, and legal information with designated family members, and customizable sections for posting photos, well wishes, blogs, journals, and messages.
For the person who is injured/ill, check out Unique Gifts for Hospitalized Patients.
This is a very stressful period, so don’t expect a thank you note, or even a recognition of your efforts. Do what you can, but don’t give to the point that you start to become resentful that your efforts are “not appreciated.”
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