While doing pre
Thanksgiving grocery shopping, I met a neighbor whose husband had recently
died. Her cart was heavily laden with the fixings for a very large Thanksgiving
dinner, yet her eyes were wet with tears. As we briefly chatted, she told me
that the good thing about the holidays is that “they’re over pretty quickly.”
A number of people
share this sentiment-the Saturday after Thanksgiving is either the beginning of
the “most wonderful time of year,” or “hell month.” There are as many people as there are reasons
for finding the holidays “stressful.”
Family and friends have various and assorted traditions. Some believe that these
are sacred and need to be adhered to at all cost, whether they continue to
work, or people have the energy, stamina or finances to implement them. The upside
of tradition is that it provides continuity from year to year and it can be
something everyone looks forward to. The downside is that it can become a
burden versus a joy and something that can cause worry and stress-not good
things for anyone, but particularly bad for those affected by chronic
conditions.
Nothing stays constant. Things are always changing and so traditions need
to be adjusted accordingly. Consider the following:
Think about your
favorite holiday experiences. What was it that made it so special? Write down
the various holiday traditions you either provide or take part in.
Rank them from most
enjoyable to least. Do any of them incorporate the magical memories of holidays
past? Does that influence how you rank them?
Assess realistically what
you have the time and energy to do this season. When you add this factor to
your list, does it change the ranking?
Delete the ones that
are not enjoyable, too difficult to do or you can’t really afford. Gift giving
is one that many people struggle with. You might continue to give gifts but
modify what you spend. Check out The Helpful Guide to Simple Christmas Links for ideas to
simplify the holidays.
Institute some new ways
of doing things that better reflect who you are and your current situation,
Talk to family and friends
about the changes you are making and why. Some will understand it and others,
well maybe not so much. Keep in mind that they are responsible for how they
feel and it’s not your job to take that on.
Ideas from family and
friends should be listened to but only adopt the ones that you can reasonably
do.
Open your life to new
ways of doing things.
No is a choice. Saying
it can simplify life considerably.
Simplify and savor the
holidays.
Holiday Posts from
Previous Years
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