One of the side effects of a chronic condition, often not
discussed at medical appointments, is the loneliness that many experience.
Treatment regiments, physical changes, restrictions in daily activities, pain,
aches etc. all contribute to feelings of being isolated and alone. People also
isolate because they don’t: want to be a burden; feel like they fit in; or that
others will understand. Shame can also be a factor, and yes, people do stop
calling or inviting you to participate in social events because of your
condition. Even when you are surrounded by people that love you, they aren’t
sharing your experience so feelings of aloneness can persist.
Not surprising research shows that loneliness is
significantly related to total number of chronic illnesses and lower quality of
life and by itself can also increase risks of becoming sicker and reducing
immune function. Am. J Nurs.
It’s important to recognize the distinction between being
alone versus being lonely. For some, being alone with their medical illness
provides an opportunity for reflection and self-assessment while they
experience connection through a spiritual practice, religion or an artistic
pursuit. They may find that their alone activities support them in finding
direction, meaning and control. This post is for those who are experiencing
loneliness and want to change it.
Things to consider
• Your medical condition does not define you.
• You can’t change how other people think, but you change
who you spend time with. There are many
different condition and other types of support groups on-line and in person you
can participate in. For meetings in your area, ask about them where you receive
your care. Often bulletin boards at your provider’s office will contain
information, but if you don’t readily see something ask, and/or contact the
local chapter of a condition specific organizations (e.g. Diabetes Association).
Check out Finding Support on-line.
• Find activities that engage you and bring you joy.
This can be a walk in the park, meditating, going to church or doing one of the
many “takes a breaks” that are posted every Wednesday on this blog as well as
to Pinterest. T.H. White, the author of The Once and Future King, wrote, “The best thing for being sad," replied Merlin, beginning to puff and
blow, "is to learn something. That's the only thing that never fails. You
may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night
listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love, you may
see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honour
trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then — to
learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which
the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or
distrust, and never dream of regretting. Learning is the only thing for you.
Look what a lot of things there are to learn.”
• Engage in groups doing activities that you enjoy. If
you like to hike, joining a hiking club will help you meet others with similar
interests. Meet Up is
a good resource to learn what’s happening in your community.
For related posts, check out:
No comments:
Post a Comment