Yup Things are a Mess: But there are things you can do

There’s a lot of anger and frustration swirling around and it’s not making anyone healthy. Unfortunately, “we’re eating our own,” as the expression goes. Even with all the positive aspects of my own life, the negatives are overpowering it and I’ve needed a new strategy to remain healthy.

 Below are ways to help ease up on yourself, and  improve how you feel. That in turn will impact how you relate to others, which has an amazing ripple effect into the general community.

Make art: Really that’s what you start with? Well yes, because art heals as it changes your body/mind from stress to relaxation. It’s your brains best friend. Art and music affect every cell in the body instantly to create a healing physiology that changes the immune system and blood flow to all the organs. Art and Music also immediately change a person’s perceptions of their world. They change attitude, emotional state, and pain perception. They create hope and positivity and they help people cope with difficulties. They transform a person’s outlook and way of being in the world. How Art Heals: Mind- Body Physiology 

Art in many different forms, trying a new recipe, journaling, drawing, sewing, making things out of paper, dancing, listening to music are just some of the ways I calm myself and after a half hour, I start seeing things in a very different way. There are as many ways to make art as there are people on the planet. Take an art break today by checking out Take a Break Pinterest 

Be clear about what you can control and focus on that. Can’t prevent the storm, but you can prepare for it. Name your fears and concerns. What do you really have control over?

Endlessly complaining about the current administration, Covid or something else  by posting cartoons and articles on Facebook does very little. Instead use your time wisely. For example, work for the candidate of your choice. Be involved in voter drives and of course vote.  Put your energy into the things you can actually do something about.

Imagine the worse-case scenario. In my case my son is on a long distance bicycle trip and I fear for his safety. However, research shows that the majority of the time worse fears don’t happen, and if it does, the vast majority of people find that it either isn’t as bad as they thought and/or they realize actual good came from it. So we spend 90% of the time worrying about something that has a likelihood of 2%? Well the numbers may not be exact but the idea is clear-worrying is not a good use of one’s time.

Bottom line-focus on what you can control and accept the rest as it happens, knowing that you will be able to manage things. After all the number one reaction to loss (a major fear of humans) is resiliency.

Align your actions with your beliefs: Right now many, including lots of editorials and news articles, are weighing in with what’s okay to say or believe and what’s not. Lots of confusing and hurt feelings are being generated from this. Years ago, when I was working in AIDS, one man noted “our PC (political correctness) culture is killing us.” Do what you believe is the right thing to do versus doing what you think others believe in or expect of you.

Recognize that you assign whether something is good or bad: Situations aren’t good or bad until you assign them as such. How are you viewing a particular situation? Is it based on fact or an inaccurate perception of what’s going on?

Whether you owe or are owed, work out payment plans to ease the worry of financial issues for yourself and/or someone else.

Lighten the load for others, by helping neighbors, friends and families with tasks they may have trouble doing. This doesn’t mean just going to the grocery store or other forms of physical labor. Identify your skill sets, e.g. can file taxes; sew; make wonderful soup  and let people know you are happy to do that. Make phones calls to those who may be lonely. There are lots of ways to help others. When you help others you help yourself.

Be the positive person. Actions, positive or negative, are infectious. Be mindful of how you behave. 

Let go of judgments, disdain and hatred. Work at developing compassion for those you encounter. Monitor your thinking. What thoughts are you having that make you unhappy? Recognize that it’s a judgement and let it go. Focus on connecting with the person and not their beliefs. Find a common thread. Consider how your judgements can hurt both you and the other person. Identify people, (can be living or dead, someone you know etc.) who demonstrate love and compassion. Try to follow their example.

Treat yourself with compassion Now more than ever we can find ourselves saying or doing something that we regret. Stress gets to all of us for sure, and it’s causing us to act out. Treat yourself with the same compassion you would a good friend.