Functioning When it Doesn’t Seem Possible

For over a week, I was dealing with intense painful sinus headaches, which occurred at random times. This experience gave me a new sense of how easy it is to become frozen in fear. I understood only to well why people with chronic illness become isolated, not just because of health problems but also because of their fears about them. Will I have the same pain when I wake up tomorrow? What if I go out with friends and I have an attack? Should I invite friends over? What happens if I should be in pain at work?

My fears of what could happen increased my stress and anxiety, which fed into my feelings of not being well.

People with chronic illnesses do have health issues that can feel paralyzing. Below are some ways to rethink the situation:

• Make sure you have an accurate diagnosis from a medical provider. Don’t diagnosis yourself and assume it’s correct. In my case, I thought I might have cluster headaches, which made me even more fearful.

• Explore treatment to prevent the problem if it is possible.

• Learn how others cope with similar issues. You can do this by:
- Participating in an on-line or in person support group
- Posting a question on a blog or website that is specific to your condition.
- Talk to your medical provider
- Contact the condition specific organization (e.g. The American Cancer Society) that is relevant to you. Many groups will have handouts on dealing with various problems relating to your condition.

• Let key people in your life know what you are coping with. These can include your supervisor, spouse, friend(s), co-worker, neighbor, family members. Most people are supportive. Let them know what the symptoms might be and how this may impact you in relationship to work and other activities.

• Recognize that fear and anxiety are major stress producers and can make you feel worse. They can also result in your making decisions and have thoughts that are irrational.

• Live mindfully, live in the moment. Living in the moment—also called mindfulness—is a state of active, open, intentional attention on the present. When you become mindful, you realize that you are not your thoughts; you become an observer of your thoughts from moment to moment without judging them. Mindfulness involves being with your thoughts as they are, neither grasping at them nor pushing them away. Instead of letting your life go by without living it, you awaken to experience.
Cultivating a nonjudgmental awareness of the present bestows a host of benefits. Mindfulness reduces stress, boosts immune functioning, reduces chronic pain, lowers blood pressure, and helps patients cope with cancer. By alleviating stress, spending a few minutes a day actively focusing on living in the moment reduces the risk of heart disease. The Art of Now: Six Steps to Living in the Moment, Psychology Today 11/1/08

• Practice stress reduction (more on that in the coming weeks)

• Seek professional help sooner than later.