As we come to the end of 2021, we are once again dealing with a Covid-19 holiday season. Challenging in the best of times, two years of dealing with the pandemic-and now the threat of the new variant omicron-has left us all a bit wrung out.
For years I’ve included a special holiday related post. Not sure how much more insight I might have (previous years posts are included below). I happened to come across Marcus Aurelius’ famous comment “Attitude of gratitude” this week and wondered what sage advise he could offer for this time of year.
If you aren’t familiar with Marcus Aurelius, he was the last great emperor of Rome, assuming the title in 161. Aurelius did not have an easy life, orphaned when he was young, only one of his eight children outlived him. He suffered from a variety of illnesses, pain and numerous challenges. For 14 years of his reign, Rome dealt with the Antonine plague, most likely small pox. Through it all, part of his strategy for staying sane and focused was keeping a journal, which we know today as Meditations. This wasn’t meant for others but fortunately exists to provide us incredible insight. His self “pep” talks can be very helpful.
Dealing with Negative Nancy: Be it a friend, colleague or family, some people just always see the worst even in the most positive of situations. Debbie Downer’s holiday card is filled with all that went wrong in the past year, while Ms. Nancy herself has nothing positive to say to you. Seems they’re looking to make everyone as miserable as they are.
When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly. They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil. But I have seen the beauty of good, and the ugliness of evil, and have recognized that the wrongdoer has a nature related to my own — not of the same blood or birth, but of the same mind, and possessing a share of the divine. And so none of them can hurt me.
You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.
Politics: Red, blue or somewhere in between, politics have high jacked more than one holiday party. Have you literally stopped seeing people because their political viewpoints differ drastically?
Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.
You don’t have to turn this into something. It doesn’t have to upset you. Things can’t shape our decisions by themselves.
“Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.”
“Whenever you are about to find fault with someone, ask yourself the following question: What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about to criticize?”
“The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.”
Nor can I feel angry at my relative, or hate him. We were born to work together like feet, hands and eyes, like the two rows of teeth, upper and lower. To obstruct each other is unnatural. To feel anger at someone, to turn your back on him: these are unnatural.”
Self-Doubt: Will we measure up to what we perceive as others’ expectations of us? Unfortunately this type of thinking leads to over doing, over spending and a lot of anxiety.
I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less value on his own opinion of himself than on the opinion of others.
“When another blames you or hates you, or people voice similar criticisms, go to their souls, penetrate inside and see what sort of people they are. You will realize that there is no need to be racked with anxiety that they should hold any particular opinion about you.”
Hurt Feelings: Someone has too much to drink and makes comments that hurt your feelings. People cancel at the last minute for what appears to be no real reason (maybe they got a better offer for the evening). Whatever the reason, recognize your view of the situation and the feelings you attach to it.
Choose not to be harmed — and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed — and you haven’t been.
If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”
“It’s not events that upset us but rather our opinions about them.”
When it’s not “merry and bright: If the holidays are more depressing than joyful.
“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.”
“You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”
“Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them.”
“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself in your way of thinking.”
The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts: therefore, guard accordingly, and take care that you entertain no notions unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature.
Past holiday posts
• Coping with Loneliness During the Holidays
• Simplifying to Create a Sustainable and Sane Holiday Season
• Keep the December Blahs at Bay
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