Given that a popular expression on holiday cards is “Believe,” it made me start thinking about how our beliefs impact healing. Then I came across an entry on Ellen Langer’s blog:
A
friend’s brother, a physician, told him that if he ever became sick, “Don’t
bleed.” What he meant was that illness is a time to “keep a stiff upper lip” or
“whistle a happy tune,” choose your favorite metaphor.
I recently told a friend with cancer that, even if he has
to walk at a snail’s pace to “Stand tall.” He has and as a result he doesn’t
seem to be suffering as much. I have another suffering friend who I told early
on that she can play it for sympathy or be heroic. Sympathy, however, wears
thin very soon.
There’s
ample research showing that friends and loved ones take the cues for how they
treat sick friends and family from their own attitude to the diagnosis. The
problem is that the patient then takes cues from them to assess the seriousness
of her condition, oblivious to how she influenced the view. Often what then
happens becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. She sees herself as sick, behaves
accordingly, and as a result, may worsen her condition.
I believe that for as long as we can, we want to live each
moment fully. When we do that, we actually may influence the disease process.
Regardless, though, we influence those around us who influence us, which
results in more life to our years
If you are not
familiar with Dr. Langer, she is a Harvard
Professor of Psychology who has authored eleven books and over 200 research
articles on the illusion of control, perceived control, successful aging,
decision-making, to name a few of the topics. Each of these is examined through
the lens of her theory of mindfulness. Her research has demonstrated that by
actively noticing new things—the essence of mindfulness—health, well being, and
competence follow. http://www.ellenlanger.com/about/
Years ago, a
very inspired woman with HIV/AIDS made the comment about some of the people she
came across with her diagnosis, “It’s simple, if you whine, you die.” While I’m
not sure how “simple” that may be,
I do know that people who constantly complain about their condition are
not among the healthiest people I know
Given the
parameters that we’re all mortal, we can make each day, regardless of what
we’re facing, much better and help ourselves heal, by having some positive beliefs about ourselves. Believe in
your health, and your ability to heal (that’s not the same as cure) regardless
of your diagnosis. Outward expressions of positive health, will help others
mirror that back to you.
Some things to
consider:
• Looking good
can make you feel better. Learn more at Looking Good: Improve How You Feel
• Find
contentment in what you are doing.
• Surround yourself with people that are positive and support healing in you.
• Fake it ‘till you make it. Your body language shapes
who you are, Basically, if you assume positions and
behaviors that change how encounters go, do it long enough and you ultimately
will change your brain and outlook. Check out Power Posing: Could it Help You Heal.
• Healing the
Whole Person: Check out ways to increase Well-Being
For previous
posts on living with a chronic condition during the holidays, check out
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