The Permission Slip to Care For Yourself

My friend Cheryl, who the post When You Can’t Be With Them: Messages that make a difference  was dedicated to,  continues to be a source of inspiration and learning. Between grieving the death of her brother, who died unexpectedly, to caring for her sister who is dying, life is beyond challenging for her.

The other day she asked me to e-mail her a “permission slip” reminding her to take care of herself, and more importantly, to not feel guilty for doing so.

While I’ve added a few things to it, this is pretty much the list I sent her. I did include specifics, such as naming those that were calling her, making her crazy and whom she didn't need to take calls from. Now when she gets a disturbing phone call from someone she says, “they’re going on the list.”

No matter how your life is affected by a chronic condition, YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO:

• Stay home and heal;

• Take care of your needs-emotional, physical, spiritual;

• Assume change will come;

• Be in charge of your life;

• Be a no drama mama;

• Be outrageous and loud;

• Be resilient;

• Be creative;

• Be clear about what you need, want and are willing to give;

• Cry if you want to;

• Disengage from other people’s issues and concerns;

• Enjoy a quiet night with friends;

• Enjoy life;

• Eat chocolate:

• Know you are doing your best, which is more than good enough; 

• Know that you are a loving, kind and generous person;

• Live in the moment;

• Laugh;

• Love:

• Limit activities to what you really want to do

• Learn;

• Let go of expectations-what you expect from others and what you expect of yourself;

• Not take phone calls from anyone you really don’t want to talk to;

• Not feel guilty or crazy;

• Not attend board meetings;

• Not be around people who zap your energy-nix the energy vampires;

• Not to worry too much;

• Make something;

• Sleep as late as you want to;

• Set boundaries;

• Take a Break

• Take care of yourself

• Other: Please list all the other things that I forgot to mention as you have blanket permission to be who you need to be: _______________________