After taking your parent, spouse, friend or family member to an appointment, tidied up and made sure they had dinner before you went to care for your own family, they comment, “You never spend any time with me.” Sometimes it seems no matter what you do, it’s not enough or it’s not right.
Keep in mind that caregiving is an act with consequences.
Fear, worry, your reactions to them, their behavior towards you can build up to such a point that you find yourself thinking “I’ll never be free until they die.” You are not a bad caregiver, or an uncaring person, if you have such thoughts, and in fact, they are common. If you find you want to act on negative feelings that could result in harm to the person call for help immediately.
In the next few posts, I will include tips and resources on caregiving.
The number one rule of is TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. If you don’t you can become sick and instead of one patient there are now two. The medical literature is filled with studies of illnesses of caregivers. In fact, I just read a study about how family members caring for relatives with dementia can become severely depressed. I see this all the time, particularly when a person has a long debilitating disease.
Ways to take care of you include:
• Make time to do the things you like on a regular basis. Include activities where someone cares for you, such as a massage, getting your nails or hair done.
• Eat a healthy diet-mainly plant based with five servings of fruits and vegetables
• Exercise-a 30 minute walk around the block, on a treadmill, or Stairmaster will go a long way in clearing your head
• Meditate-even a few minutes a day is a help
• Sleep-try to get the recommended 8 hours a night.
• Take a Break-Every Wednesday is “Take a Break” day on Healing Whole www.healingwhole.blogspot.com Lots of ideas for short breaks, day long activities, things to do with the person you are caring for and more.
• Join a caregiver’s support group (on-line or in person), have at least one friend you can talk to. Don’t let yourself become isolated.
• Choose how you are going to be a caregiver, based on what you can reasonably do
• Accept your role as caregiver and not become a “victim” to it
• Keep a positive attitude as much as possible.
• Recognize the signs of Caregiver Stress (feeling sad, uncaring or angry, no energy, trouble sleeping, eating to little or too much, not taking care of your own needs) and seek help as quickly as possible.
• Use the Healing the Whole Person Handout
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