Free Webinar for Caregivers

November is National Family Caregivers Month. Lotsa Helping Hands is holding a Webinar for caregivers on Nov. 16, 2 pm EST. Learn the most common challenges, solutions for caregivers and how to create a LHH free community. For more info go to the Lotsa Helping Hands website.

Take a Break: Pumpkin Fun/Left Over Halloween Candy

Yes, I know that Halloween is over, but pumpkins are so plentiful at this time of year, plus Thanksgiving isn’t that far off. So, today’s “take a break” is all about fun things to do that involve pumpkins, other than carving them. Well actually, the first option does require hollowing out the pumpkin.

Cut off the top and scoop out the pumpkin guts. Think of this as the holder for your Thanksgiving centerpiece. Find a vase or candleholder that will fit inside the pumpkin and place a pillar candle, flowers and/or leaves inside. If you are going to use leaves, you can use some of the techniques described in last year’s post. I’ve recently read a bout a new one where you first iron the leaves between two sheets of wax paper. Let them completely cool and then coat with Mod Podge. Of course you have to peel back the wax paper before painting.

If you do include leaves or flowers with a pillar candle, watch carefully for fire.

Fun things to try

How many words can you make from the word pumpkin? Hint, there are 33 if you count one and two letter words and words in all caps. Check your wordlist.

Carve a Virtual Pumpkin

Color a virtual pumpkin or download pumpkins to color.

Cook with Pumpkin: Try a different dish, other than pumpkin pie or bread, such as
Risotto with Pumpkin, Ginger and Sage.

What to do with left over Halloween Candy
So it maybe a little late, but if you still have Halloween Candy laying around, consider the following:

Operation Gratitude: Sends care packages to troops over seas.

Freeze your candy: Chocolate will keep for up to a year. While you could give it to trick or treaters next year, there are lots of ways you can do with it over the next 12 months, such as
- Decorations for gingerbread houses, cookies and cakes
- Make a Candy wreath
- Use as a topping for ice cream
- Put it in baked goods
- Save it for the Easter Egg Hunt
- Use it as stocking stuffers for Christmas

Center piece for Thanksgiving: For the "kid's table," fill a horn of plenty with the candy. You can also scoop out a small pumpkin, insert a bowl or basket and stuff it with the candy and leaves, so it overflows down the sides. Either way, the kids will love it.

There will always be a top 10 cause of death: Death is part of life

I have been trying to write a post on the topic of why it’s important to accept death as part of life for some time. In the last three weeks, my very small town has had four deaths, which has propelled me to look at this and once again try to write about it. I dedicate this post to my friend Sophie Snarski, who was 95 and to Spencer Huntley, an 18 year old who died in a car accident just a few days ago.

When my oldest son was in the fifth grade, it became very clear that his teacher was in the process of dying. When I spoke to the principal about preparing the students for this eventuality, I was told to take it to the school board. Three parents, including myself, attended the next school board meeting to discuss this issue and were promptly beaten up by the school superintendent. “We should be talking about life, not death.” “The union protects her right not to have this discussed.” In short, we were told to go away and that the school was not to discuss it. Their version of “don’t ask, don’t tell.” We met with the board in late September and the teacher died on Thanksgiving Day.

While I was furious at the time of the school’s unwillingness to help their students with such a difficult lesson, it was also clear to me that we are continually being sent messages that death is not a subject for polite society. They were pretty much responding out of their own fears and societal norms.

True our life expectancy is much longer than it was 100 years ago, and for many, their first experience with a close death may not come until they are in their 50’s or older when their parents die. As each era has its own issues around death and dying, we have moved into a very unique situation with longer life expectancies, increased medical technology and a shift of death from acute conditions, where people died very rapidly, to chronic disease, where people live for many years with the condition that will result in their death.

It may change from decade to decade, or from country to country, but there will always be a top 10 causes of death. You can find the cure for cancer, but another condition will take its place at number two on the hit parade of mortality. Why? Because we’re programmed to die.

You don’t win friends and influence enemies by writing comments like this, but we’re also not helping people by the constant barrage of articles and materials on how we can avoid a particular condition if we exercise, eat right, take vitamins etc. etc. Researchers, doctors and the media love to talk about “preventable deaths.” A drug, lifestyle changes, or whatever else is couched in terms of preventing death by 10%, 20% etc. Contrary to the numbers, death is never prevented. It is only delayed.

It’s easy to dismiss this as some sort of a semantic issue, or maybe a George Carlin routine that never made it to HBO. However, the continual mentioning of this from drug commercials to the doctor trying to convince a patient to take medication, is creating a subtle messages that death just may be optional, and not just for those in California, as the joke goes. How this plays out can be problematic.

In keeping with the top 10 theme, below are my 10 reasons why we need to accept death as part of life.

• People with terminal, life threatening or chronic conditions are shunned because they represent what we most fear. Friends and families disconnect from them to spare themselves the reality of their own future.

• It seems that the “politically correct” thing to do, when learning of a friend or family member’s terminal illness, is to kept it to your self. We are really into the “don’t ask, don’t tell” approach. People do not know how to respond when someone is very ill, let alone when they die, which results in the person and those closest to them, not getting the support that would be so helpful. The dying have much to teach the living, but we have to be present to learn from them.

• Frequently, families and friends, regardless of the age of the person affected, will say that the individual’s dying could have been prevented if he or she “just took care of themselves,” didn’t smoke, do drugs, have sex, gone to the doctor sooner and so forth and so on. The person that is dying will express concern that they are letting down family and friends by being ill, let alone dying. They too will voice about this being their fault and/or “if I only hadn’t…” Some are embarrassed that their bodies are failing them; they interpret it as a “personal failure.” It doesn’t help people to be dying thinking they are failures.

• Because of our fear of death, the charlatans prey on those fears and rob people of money, valuable resources and time.

• Regimenting ones life by eating certain foods, exercising, taking lots of vitamins etc. in order to live indefinitely, can take up so much time, the joy of living is lost in the process.

• The regimental approach, as noted above, can also eliminate the opportunities to develop a spirituality that can nourish and enrich one’s life, regardless of its length.

• Lack of discussion results in end of life decisions being made for you, which may not be to your liking.

• Massive amounts of resources are being used to extend life, even if it’s just for a day or two. Just how long can the planet sustain such a practice?

• By not acknowledging our impermanence, we neglect to enjoy the moment as we fill our time with striving for “bigger and better.”

• By accepting that we all die, and that we are on temporary loan to one another, maybe we can become a more honest and compassionate society, where we make the time we have together a valued experience.

Take A Break Archives 8/09-10/11

Today's take a break is all about selecting something you haven't tried from over two years of "take a breaks." Enjoy!


Take a Break Archives August 2009- October 2010

November 2010
10 Soda Can (Aluminum) Art

17 Preserving Leaves

24 Thank in Thanksgiving

December
1 Candles: Decorate them

8 Candles: Make Them

15 Candles: Holders

22 Compassion Meditation

27 Calligraphy

January 2011
5 What to do with Old Calendars

12 Take a Break: Redecorate While You Undecorate

19 Find the Rainbow in Your Clouds Maya Angelou http://healingwhole.blogspot.com/2011/01/take-break-find-rainbow-in-your-clouds.html

26. Paper Quilling

February 2011
2. Valentine’s Day Activities Paper and Scissors (chains, cobweb, German Paper cutting)

9 Eatable Valentines

16 In Six-Words or Less, Tell Your Story

23 Start a journal

March 2011
2 Celebrate Women’s History

9 Spring-Make a Ribbon Wreath

16 St. Patrick’s Day Make St. Brigid’s Cross

23 Spring: Look for Signs of Spring

30 Spring: Make Carrots

April 2011
April 6: Enjoy Water

April 13 Be Amazed

April 20 Jellybean Projects

April 27: Reusing/Recycling Easter Candy

May
May 4: Fascinators

May 11: Stargaze

May 18 Create Mindfulness reminders

May 25 Paper Mobiles

June 2011
1 Recycled Art from Old Magazines

8 Pinatas

15 Staycation

21 Stars

28 4th of July

July 2011
6 Fruit Carving

13 Make Bubbles

20 Stay Cool with a No Rush Day

27 Body Art and Tattoos

August 2011
3 Holiday Day Gifts 2011

10 Make anything a chalk board

17 Dance

24 Draw With Willow

30 T-shirts

September 6, 2011
7 Plastic Bottle Art

14 Palm Reading/Mazes

21 Design a TV Show

28 Draw a Stickman/Enjoy Apples

October 2011
5 Name Skeletons/edible Acorns

12 Samhain (Irish Halloween)

19 Divination Games

26 Tricks and Treats

So Just How Stressed are You? What You can Do About It.

A new study, published on-line in the Journal of Aging Research, found that men, who consistently experiencing more than two major stress events in a year (spouse dies, divorce, coping with an aging parent) have a higher risk of death then their less stressed peers. Only three things seem to reduce this stress: good health, marriage and the occasional drink. The author of this study concludes, “People are hardy, and they can deal with a few major stress events each year. But our research suggest that long-term, even moderate stress can have lethal effects.”

Stress isn’t always bad. We’re programmed for “fight or flight,” since that’s our body’s way of protecting itself from real or perceived danger. When we are threatened, our nervous systems revs the engine with hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. This allows us to flee the tiger or apply the breaks when we’re about to run over the tiger in our car. Stress also comes into play when you give a presentation you aren’t sure about, go to the doctors for lab results, have a job interview or even ask someone out on a date.

At some point, having your body constantly on overload because of stressors starts taking its toll. It’s a bit like trying to run your computer with a number of different programs operating all at once. It will freeze, crash and just stop working. This is how the body responds when it has too much stress. It not only can impact your mood and your ability to remember things, but it can also lead to high blood pressure, heart disease and worse.

So how much stress is too much and how stressed are you? Start by taking the Stress Quiz: How Stressed Are You? This particular quiz looks at how you handle your daily life. Next try the Life Stressor Test Developed by Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe in 1967, there are a few items that aren’t as accurate today as they were in the 60‘s. However, it is an indicator of what type of events are stressful for people. Between the two, you should have a good idea of what the stressors are in your life, how well you handle them and whether stress could be a contributor in your health and well being.

So once you have a handle on your stressors and how you handle them, what’s the next step?

• Determine what stressors you can change or control and act accordingly. There are many things in our life we have no control over (the weather, life events such as the death of a loved one) When confronted with a stressful situation, ask yourself: is this my problem? If it isn't, walk away. If it is, identify what you can do to address it now before it blows way out of proportion. As the saying goes, “don’t sweat the small stuff “ and don’t spend hours obsessing about would a, could a, should a. Most importantly, accept what you can’t change.

• Take a break. If you are a caregiver, schedule time to get out of the situation for a few hours at least weekly if not daily. Use the Five Minute Kripalu Yoga Break and of course, don’t forget that every Wednesday is “take a break day” at Healing Whole. If you aren’t interested in one week’s activity, check the side bar for the summary posts of archived “take a breaks.” There are now 100s of these, so you should find at least one or two that peek your interest.

• Avoid the stressful situation all together. If going to the annual Thanksgiving party at Aunt Jane’s leaves you with an emotional hang over for the rest of the weekend, make other plans this year.

• Identify the priorities in your life. If it’s not a priority, and it makes you anxious, let it go.

• Change how you view and react to a situation. If you think about it, there are often more than one way to see something. So if you do decide to go to Aunt Jane’s for Thanksgiving, identify who and/or what makes you crazy. Is there another way you can view this situation?

• Stick to the basics of sufficient sleep (more than 8 or less than 6 is not healthy) exercise and a well balanced diet. Certain foods, such as sugar and caffeine can add to your stress.

• Breathe! When you are feeling the most tense, remind yourself to breathe deeply. Shallow breathing reduces the amount of oxygen in your bloodstream, which leads to an increase in muscle tension. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.

• Connect with others. If you find you are spending more and more time alone, reach out to other people. Attend a support group, accept invitations, and/or create invitations so people come to you.

• Talk about it. Talking to a good friend, family member or members of your support group can help you problem solve and reduce stress. Since Aunt Jane’s Thanksgiving party is quickly approaching, talk to your cousins or Aunt Jane about what makes you feel so stressed about these events and look for solutions.

• Laugh. It truly is the best medicine.

• Avoid self medicating with alcohol or other drugs.

• Practice meditation and mindfulness.

More Information
• Healing the Whole Person: Ways to Increase Well Being

• Stress Mastery from Taking Charge of Your Health

Take a Break: Halloween 2011 Tricks or Treats

So this year, have tricks and treats for your visitors Halloween night. If you live in a house with a lawn, have a volunteer pretend to be a statue (such as a witch or monster) and have them come to life as the children approach. In Vermont, many people make odd looking people using stuffed leaves. Older teens have been known to sit in a chair, looking very much like the “leaf people,” only to come to life when trick or treaters pass them by. Makes for a wonderful scream. Hiding under a pile of leaves, or even laying flat to the ground can create a good scare.

For those in apartments, there may be a number of restrictions on what you can put on your door, but the skies the limit once you open it. There is the classic “hand in bowl,” so when the kids go to select their candy, a hand grabs them. This is done by placing a bowl, with a hole in the bottom large enough to fit a hand through (cheap bowls from the Dollar Store are perfect), on a table. This can be a thick piece of cardboard on two saw horses, which also has a hole that the candy bowl rests on. A person sits under the table, which is covered by a cloth, and grabs people as they come to collect their candy. Watch the video to see how one family set their “hand in bowl” outside with a sign that encourages trick or treaters to “take one.”

If you have the time to rig it up, as the door opens, a spider drops down in front of the kids.

For more ideas, check out Halloween Pranks.

Of course it wouldn’t be Halloween with out some special candies and other goodies. One of the best selection of things to make comes from Our Best Bites. This year they feature a mad scientist potion drink, which is Kool Aid mixed with a little bit of dry ice. Their “easy Halloween Party Food” section has lots of wonderful ideas. Keep in mind that for trick or treating wrapped store bought candy is the best.

Of course if you don’t want to celebrate with food, consider classic cartoons as your treat:

• Donald Duck Trick or Treat (1952 Cartoon)

• Betty Boop 1933 Banned Cartoons Halloween Party

• The Skeleton Dance-Silly Symphonies Walt Disney 1929

No matter how you celebrate it, Halloween has something for everyone. Don’t forget that the “take a breaks” for October have all been related to Halloween, so if this doesn’t inspire you, try one of the other weeks from this year or last.

The Three P’s: Purpose and People

Last week, I wrote about the “gotta haves, “ the three essentials that help sustain in living well-people, purpose and passion. Last week’s post was on passion and in September I blogged about the Power of Purpose, so this leaves people.

Study after study shows that having friends and a social life are key to healthy living and aging. Who we spend time with impacts how we think and feel about ourselves, and even impacts what we do. With that in mind, these are some ideas to consider about who is or isn’t in your life.

• Do the friend assessment: Take an inventory of the people in your life. Who do you spend the most time with? How do they make you feel? Do you look forward to seeing them? Are you relieved when they are gone? Do they help you make good choices for you? Do they bring you energy or take it from you? In her book, My Stroke of Insight, Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor talks about how to help a stroke patient. She describes the visitor that came bringing hope and encouragement versus the ones that took energy from her. In short, are you surrounding yourself with people that inspire you and are fun to be with?

• Avoid, reduce and eliminate the energy vampires in your life. There are people that always want something from you, get on our last nerve and in general zap ideas, strength and good feelings. It doesn’t matter their relationship to you, they don’t need to be in your orbit if they make you feel lousy.

• Have friends that are passionate: Again, it’s who you hang with that helps you define yourself. If your friends are passionate, it doesn’t have to be the same interests as yours, it increases the chances you’ll develop a passion if you don’t happen to have one.

• Care and invest in people. Whether it’s someone you’ve just met or an old friend you haven’t seen for a while, letting people you care about them and are willing to be there for them helps to retain friendships.

• Seek out new friendships: A very wise therapist told me many years ago that friendships are like a pail of water with a hole in the bottom. People are always leaving our lives because they move, change jobs, die, don’t want to be with you any more etc. etc. Therefore, if we want to keep the pail full, we need to continually be adding new people. So how do you meet people? Consider the following:
- Participate in a support group
- Engage in activities that you like doing-this increases the chances that you’ll meet someone who likes the same things you do.
- Attend parties and accept invitations from friends and families.
- Host a party and tell people to bring friends
- Volunteer, if for no other reason it gets you out of the house and if you are among other people, you have a greater chance of meeting someone.
-Join a church or civic organization (Rotary, Lions Club etc.)
- For more ideas, check out http://www.succeedsocially.com/sociallife